It’s kind of weird to adopt the stance that something is too dumb to be offensive. I mean, I live in America – I amcontinuously surrounded by ideas, organizations, and people whose stupidity in no way lessens their offensiveness. But Crime Edge, I mean… yeah, sure, it’s kind of implying that preference for kinky sex can be conflated with actual addiction, and sure it’s got all sorts of questionable (in any other writeup I’d write ‘problematic,’ but the second I use that word in the context of Crime Edge I become the punchline) notions about sex and violence, but, I mean, it’s Crime Edge. It’s like a puppy who chewed up your sneakers (have I used that metaphor? I’ve probably used that metaphor), or Uncle Nestor who sets his hair on fire at Thanksgiving cause he’s got the dementia. So yeaaah, maybe it’s, well, “misguided” in its sex politics, and yeaaah maybe the author’s conflating his own love of kinky shit with a god-given right, but, I mean, c’mon. Look at that face. Look at that stupid, stupid face.
0:06 – Oh jeez, thank god they’re recapping the fifteen seconds of actual plot development that occurred last week. It’s tough to keep all this stuff straight in my head
2:45 – “Cut 08: Party Chopper.” I was going to make a joke to the effect of asking if all the episode titles had been stupid puns, but then I realized that wasn’t even a pun, that was just the word “party” with something related to scissors attached to it. Hrm.
2:51 – Okay, gotta pause, I won’t be able to pay attention until I’ve figured out a stupid pun they could’ve used instead. Hm… Cut-rate Party? No, still doesn’t really make much sense. Gossip Party? On the nose, but not cringe-worthy enough. Barber… barbed… witty… repartee…
Losing focus here. I’ll call this one a draw.
3:22 – “Could it be her?” Oh jeez, could our protagonists be having second thoughts about attending the partywhere every fucking person wants to kill them?
4:44 – That is actually my favorite moment by big sis so far. Kiri and Iwai totally captivated by the play, but big sis in the background all just shoving a fork in the appetizers. Don’t give a fuck
5:36 – “Black hair… Queen…” I don’t get it. Can someone explain this play to me? I’m not so good with symbolism
5:38 – “It’s about me.” OHHH…
6:38 – “Is the Queen real?” “I believe it.” “I dunno…” Iwai: “IT SEEMS LIKE NOT EVERYONE HERE KNOWS EVERYTHING.” It looks like the theme of this episode’s gonna be “explain everything again as soon as soon as the show finishes explaining it”
8:22 – “You two are to assist with the entertainment. Please, put on these constumes.” “Kiri, is this what people do at these parties??” Think fast bro, “Oh yeah, pff, obviously!”
10:17 – Sharktooth grin appears in the shadows.
Man, that was actually classy as fuck. It’s kind of hard to play that as a joke when they’re making such great use of his winning smile
11:20 – Hah! “She’s really strong willed. Totally not my type.” Wow, actually admitting the way these kinks work. That got an honest laugh out of me
11:54 – Hahaha, you fell for my fiendish trap! And to think, all I had to do was invite you to a party hosted by an organization founded to kill you, knowing you’d accept, and also that you’d willingly be ushered backstage and into some demeaning costumes I for some reason included in my scheme
14:11 – Big Sis sees sharktooth in a priest’s robe, Iwai in a giant cage, and Kiri choking on a spectral noose. “What the heck are they doing?!” Man, she is really redeeming herself this episode. It’s nice to see someone as barely invested in this melodrama as I am
15:05 – Big Sis’s face. “Really? A dead body? That’s tonight’s entertainment? Man, I could be at home right now, I still haven’t even finished the new season of Arrested Development…”
17:40 – I’d say that there’s no way for a fight between a dude wielding a pair of scissors and a dude who strangles you by furiously fanning through a book to possess dramatic tension, but… well, they’re kinda proposing a strong argument to the contrary
19:29 – Okay, so as heartwarming as all these flashbacks and new bursts of resolve are, how is any of this even working? “I came this far… to protect Iwai!” This is literally true, right? Since he started getting his sexy, sexy deviant urges off on the Hair Queen, there has not been a single narrative indication that he lusts for scissory blood. Why is the rulebook actually working on him this time?
This is actually kind of annoying, because having a slow-building narrative thread where his Authorial urges were spiraling out of control, to the extent where even with Iwai to Instead it up he was finding himself enjoying the fights, would be a really solid addition to the story. Unfortunately for this scene, that thread does not actually exist
21:14 – Number three! Is that a record for “most times ostensibly choked to death in a single fight”?
21:15 – BIG SIS THAT FACE YES. Seriously, is there any other way to interpret that than an “Ugh, what else is on?” face?
WELL. If this show hadn’t blown its dramatic tension load ALREADY, this episode certainly did the trick! Maybe it’s just been too long since I’ve watched a truly shitty shonen, but I think three choke-outs in one episode is pretty far beyond my limit for believing a character’s in any kind of mortal danger. That’s okay though, because Iwai spent three quarters of the episode wearing silly ram horns while mugging theatrically and crying. Clearly a net win!