You know I’ve reached the point where I type up intros for this crap, revise them, and then scrap them because they’re not good enough? This is ridiculous. I was planning on doing a Lovecraft redux, and actually have the prologue for that written, but then I realized my list of remaining Lovecraft-specific gags consisted of:
- Make a joke where the narrator thinks Kiri is invoking a dark ritual, but he’s actually just gagging on hair.
- Lovecraft is crazy-racist.
So, not a whole lot to work off. Either way, things are heating up in the land of knife-wielding loli imoutos, and I don’t just mean that sexually. Not to say sexually isn’t one of the ways I mean that. Be- because it is.
Just to be clear.
We have Lolino acting almost as tsun as her namesake, we have the vague and incoherent machinations of Gossip stumbling around in the shadows, and, close to home, we have our beloved title pair, tied together by the hairs of fate, torn apart by the heartless arms of plot necessity. Last week they relinquished their facades and vowed to maintain a new honesty, strengthening their implacable bonds of love and affection – but will it be enough? Will the power of love triumph over the forces of darkness? Will the good, clean honesty of Kiri’s unimpeachable fetishes triumph over the wicked, uncaring eyes of society?
Frankly, I hope not. If this shit gets renewed, I’ll end up with enough material to publish. Kill ’em all, Lolino.
0:00 – By the way, when I was building that last paragraph, I was trying to fit in a line about the manga’s author, and realized for the first time that the personal nature of this fantasy is even more overt than I thought – the author of a story lionizing weird fetishes has actually defined those fetish aficionados as superheroes known as… authors. Ba-fucking-dum-psh.
0:18 – Am I the only one who just sees continuous electricity between our main two at this point? Once again, I have to ask why fucking Crime Edge is the show demonstrating that relationship drama doesn’t get boring as soon as the characters actually enter a fucking relationship.
It reminds me of that new interview with the Chuunibyou director, where he said he’s going to slow down the relationship between the main pair because apparently tension is lost as soon as they kiss. No. No, that is a lie. No and fuck you very much. C’mon directors, grow a pair and realize not every interesting moment of a relationship occurs in the first five percent of one. Goddamnit
This may sound like me just ranting because I never get to see any of my favorite characters slobbering all over each other, but I assure you that’s only half true
3:52 – “Apparently she fulfills the requirements to be the Author of that magical artifact.” “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Don’t worry, it took me a few episodes too
6:15 – I’m so glad we’re getting such a thorough, detailed explanation of Lolino’s backstory and motivation. I was really wondering about that.
6:54 – These dogs are making me extremely uncomfortable. 6:35-6:44 is even worse thanNibutanixCerberus
9:20 – “So that’s why she inflicted so many small cuts on me.” Yes, her strategy was to not hurt you too badly, because otherwise you might die before her magic knife got to kill you. Well, as far as Crime Edge murder-strategies goes, that one’s actually fairly ahead of the curve
10:30 – C’mon, fish girl. Just lick them. You know you want to
10:43 – “I knew it. Killing Goods.” What a remarkable first guess
11:20 – “Not even a doctor could help you with these unhealing wounds.” Seriously struggling to not make a “Crawling in my skin” joke here
11:56 – I’ve never been one for the Innsmouth Look, but that is moe as fuck
13:06 – SHAME ON BOTH OF YOU! To think fishwoman would cheat on her sister like this… I’m sorry I ever thought she was moe
16:21 – “If I could see him in my dreams… would I become stronger?” Holy shit, that’s an honest-to-goodness reasonable plot development! Developing himself as an Author would increase his ability to protect Iwai while simultaneously weakening his resistance against the Killing Goods. A plot turn that also bears inherent relevance on the character development and relationship drama? I didn’t know you had it in you, Crime Edge!
17:39 – So is Grayland gonna become his spirit sensei now? Well, it’s worked before
19:52 – “Knife, Gun, and Poison.” Oh god, three super-authors and only two episodes to go? If this shit gets renewed I am going on strike
20:03 – Oh Kiri. “Now that I’ve told you what I’m doing and where I’m going, would you mind telling me if you plan on killing my girlfriend?”
22:25 – “Besides, today’s…” What. The anniversary of his death, perhaps? And you’re visiting his grave? The grave of the father of the girl who’s trying to kill you? The girl you’re attempting to become stronger than, because you know she’ll currently murder your ass flat?
Brilliant, Kiri. You’ve really outdone yourself this time
Damn! That last scene was beautifully shot and perfectly scored – one of the rare but consistent times where the show indulges a moment in a really great, somewhat beautiful and somewhat creepy way – like the extended piano song at the bar, or Kiri and Iwai dancing under the stars. More of those please!
Anyway. This episode would have been pretty dull if it weren’t being so goddamn lewd all the time… no, yeah, it was pretty dull either way. All dem infodumps were somewhat redeemed by actually being kind of effective, but they were still a series of infodumps about Killing Goods, and this show rarely makes me care about it by actually trying to make me care. As any of you who know my tastes can attest, only blood or sex will satisfy my anime lusts, and this episode was clearly holding out on me. If it weren’t for that strangely alluring fishwoman, I’d have to consider this one a wash.
Yeah, not sure how I feel about these emotions. I’m think I’m gonna go sort some stuff out, you guys. I’ll see you next week.