Ooooh god. Food coma. Hurts. Too much kebab, too many greasy fries. And here I am, about to watch lithe young swimmers show off their somewhat terrifyingly toned bodies, while I sit here drinking a beer and just get fat.
No, fuck that. I have a great self-image! Just had my annual physical, exactly the same weight as last year, exercise regularly and don’t overeat and everything. In fact, I’d say that pretty much my only vice is my borderline alcoholism. I know. I’m impressed too.
So fuck you, swimbros. I don’t gotta prove nothin’ to you. I’m gonna sit here and drink (one for glasses-push or smarmy Makoto stare, two for HaruxWater moments, three for emo Rin) and feel perfectly good about myself. In fact, everybody feel good about yourselves! Only good times now! We are watching the fruit of an entire company’s worth of people working diligently for months, all in pursuit of animating some teenage boys prancing around half-naked for twenty minutes a week. Fuck feeling bad about my decisions. I don’t feel ashamed for shit.
Wait, I’m actually watching those teenage boys, just so I can make silly jokes about them for strangers on the internet.
Oh god what am I doing with my life.
Fuck it cue the episode.
0:00 – Uuuugh feel so fat hate all my decisions
0:06 – Finally. Man was I ever wondering when they’d reveal all the lingering secrets of those faraway, halcyon days
1:25 – I really wasn’t expecting this show’s standout moments to be stuff like Rei sususu-ing as he tailed Rin and whatnot. But hey, take your treasures where you find them
2:00 – Interesting. So before Rin went totes emo in Australia, land of suffering, he was pretty much the default upbeat shounen protagonist their group has always been lacking.
2:18 – Man, I kinda wanna watch this show . Rin adds a whole lot of momentum to their group. I can see why Haru fell for him
2:39 – Haru’s expressions are too good . Apparently he’s always been a remedial human relations student
2:48 – What kind of fan-focused company would KyoAni be if they forgot the shotaservice?
Man, when I wrote up the very first episode, I swore to myself, no fuckin’ gay jokes. They’re lazy and played out and can easily veer into actual homophobia. But the show itself plays up the dynamic between these two so much that casting it as a grand romantic tragedy or something is just a stupidly obvious and reliably relevant play. Is it offensive for me to play up that angle? Any relevant friends out there – am I doing this right? I seriously don’t want to make shithead jokes that make people feel excluded or uncomfortable. Even just one of those would basically invalidate everything I try to do with these writeups. So am I doing okay? You don’t have to comment publicly, you can just send a PM in response or something. I seriously just want to get better at what I do in a way that makes everyone have a good time.
Anyway, sorry to get all serious for a moment. Back to your regularly scheduled programming
4:13 – Oh hey, is that the rest of the plot I see there? Seems like it – Haru won’t shut up about “that thing Rin showed him” (man, speaking of opportunities for tasteless jokes), and here we see it was likely Rin who convinced Haru to experience the camaraderie of the relay in the first place. BAM!
Okay, that’s definitely a less satisfying bam than a Serial Experiments Lain bam or a NisiOisin bam, but… screw it, I’ll take my moments where I can get ‘em
4:39 – Rin’s a charmer. Also, note the fang – apparently fangs eventually evolve into full-on shark teeth. Be warned!
5:27 – Oh my god his voice is so adorable gaaah. Nagisa too damn moe
5:56 – Pretty shot . I wish this show used more of the town, they’ve invented a very beautiful area for them. Pools and classrooms don’t really offer much room for visual ambition unless you’re going full Hyouka
6:14 – Again, nice
6:37 – This episode makes me think I would have enjoyed this show more condensed into eight episodes or something, with the drama spread more evenly among the better lighthearted moments, and no useless stuff like the haunted house episode. But then again, perhaps those moments were perfectly good at serving a purpose I have no interest in. All I know is that when KyoAni try to do the things I care about, they generally succeed
8:10 – There’s what we were missing . I never knew tiny heads and massive hands were so attractive
8:43 – Oh my god are we seriously gonna pull a “he’s lost faith in the heart of the cards” now? Goddamnit sports shows…
9:05 – I was gonna make a joke about Haru defending the other near-comatose athlete, but then I realized that’s incredibly out of character for my private Haru canon. So I guess the joke is instead about Haru being well-acquainted with making the most out of damaged tools
9:56 – Oh man damaged tools I mean Rei is starting to figure it out
10:54 – Do Japanese people just expect every meal to be terrible? Pretty much the only phrases I associate with meals are Itadakimasu, Gochisousama, and “Wow, it really IS good!”
11:10 – Nagisa: still moe
11:48 – Yessss
12:56 – If only you knew, Nagisa…
but then I’d have to kill you
13:17 – Oh COME ON. SEE! I TOLD YOU IT WASN’T JUST ME!
14:26 – Hurray for character development
17:15 – See? Very pretty town
17:38 – Look, I’m not saying anything
18:02 – Swimming 2: This time, it’s completely impersonal
19:08 – dingdingding
19:44 – Nagisa don’t give a fuck
Ahaha, that ending is great. Big fan of Rei’s battle music.
Anyway, like most of the episodes, this had its ups and downs. My favorite moments were probably the ones hinting at other, more interesting shows, but hey, we’re in the final stretch either way. Rei and Rin’s showdown will almost certainly be pretty damn entertaining, and then we’re into the finale. Regionals! I can hardly contain my enthusiasm.