Let’s roll on into the next ef – A Tale of Memories! There’s usually a pretty significant break on my end between watching these episodes, but right now I’m carrying on the momentum from yesterday’s writeup and rushing right into episode eleven. The show’s last episode didn’t feature the Chihiro-Renji story at all, and instead focused on resolving a great deal of Hiro’s conflicts. Having slept with Miyako and been confronted by Rei, Hiro was finally forced to make a definitive choice about his life course. Ultimately, while acknowledging he really had loved Kei in the past, he chose to actually pursue Miyako.

This choice fits perfectly in line with ef’s overall heart-on-sleeve infatuation with living for your art, and turning yourself into a monument to creativity. While Rei consistently urged moderation and making sure to balance his work and school life, Miyako was absolutely ready to join him in self-immolating for some wild ideal. I frankly don’t think picking Miyako was the healthy choice for Hiro, as not only is Miyako herself an incredibly unstable person, but Hiro has already demonstrated that pushing too hard in his career has left him burnt out and exhausted. But Miyako is still probably the “right” choice for this story, which overall takes an extremely romantic view of the artist’s plight. And the actual evocation of Hiro’s choice was one of the show’s standout moments so far, a thrilling mix of well-built character turns and evocative aesthetic tricks. Of course, we’ve still got two episodes left and a sequel besides, so I can’t imagine Hiro and Miyako have reached any sort of happily ever after quite yet. Let’s see what episode eleven brings!

Episode 11

“Ever Forever.” Just as “I’m Here” echoed Miyako’s greatest fear, so does this title echo Chihiro’s fears of impermanence

And yep, we’re starting with the most iconic Renji/Chihiro shot, that long shot of the abandoned train station

Chihiro waiting at an abandoned train station of course has its own thematic significance, symbolizing the way Chihiro has been stuck at one static point ever since the accident

Chihiro arrives in a gust of feathers, backed by the blue sky

She seems genuinely happy now

Looks like she’s finished her book, though she doesn’t want Renji to read it until after she’s left. The protagonist’s choice will likely mirror her own, though I’m not sure what “dragging Renji into her world” would imply. Presumably the happy ending here is Renji leading Chihiro to realize she can still engage with the world even with her condition, and not retreat into her private one

“We can be lovers for one day, and go on a date. Think of it as a trial period.” This is certainly meant to echo how Chihiro only lives one day at a time, but it still feels a little too tailor-made to invite melodrama. That’s one of the big risks you have to watch out for when writing an unabashed melodrama; oversized emotions are absolutely something we as viewers can believe in, but we have to feel those emotions are coming from a genuine emotional place, and not being provoked through contrived circumstance

“Read it after our date tomorrow.” Hoo boy, this is gonna be tragic

“The person you’re waiting for?” “I forgot who that was as well.” Nice job priestman, way to be cryptic

The church seems to have a stained glass window featuring the hat lady, which supports the idea that she’s more a sounding board for people’s internal feelings than an actual living person

This seems to basically be the formal handing-of-Chihiro ceremony for the priest guy. His place in the narrative always felt a little nebulous; he was basically just the wise elder warning Renji about the pain of this path, but he never really felt like a real person. I’d have liked to see him interact with Kei a few times, which would have provided more of a link between these narratives, as well as solidifying him as a believable character in the sisters’ lives. But for some reason, it feels like ef intentionally worked to distance its two narratives from each other, never allowing characters like Renji and Hiro to interact

I suppose it’d be easy for the story to get muddled that way. The show is basically two separate narratives occurring concurrently that happen to thematically reflect each other

Nice smash cut from “nothing sad, I’ll end up crying” to Chihiro bawling about the movie they watched. Ef is many things, but it’s rarely snappily funny like that

This conversation about the movie is also genuinely cute. That’s good; this show is full of massive romantic gestures, but believing in a fictional romance often comes down to simply thinking two people are cute together. The little scenes like this can be critical

Chihiro makes eye contact with a UFO catcher toy and starts crying when she can’t take it home. Chihiro my god

Sure is nice of this show to let them have a genuinely wonderful date. And I guess tonally we kinda need it, after the emotional roller coaster that was last episode. Plus Renji and Chihiro’s story has always been warmer and less histrionic than Hiro’s, anyway – I get the sense that there’s no ending to the Hiro story that would actually make its participants happy, whereas these two clearly like and care about each other a lot in a way that isn’t staggeringly unhealthy

The two of them head to the beach. That damn sandcastle better not still be there

“I wish tomorrow would never come.” “Don’t say that. Tomorrow might be even better than today.” Damn. Incredibly healthy rejoinder by Chihiro, one that feels like a genuine character step for her. Can she actually overcome the terror of losing her memories by embracing the potential of the future?

Himura’s key is actually the key to the rooftop at school, which is an interesting choice. The rooftop has thematic significance to Hiro’s story, but it hasn’t shown up over here

It seems to carry much of the same resonance over here – the limitless potential of the open sky

Renji actually pulls off a strong confession in a very romantic location. This boy knows his stuff

“Can I kiss you?” “You’re not supposed to ask.” I really appreciate when Chihiro gets these little bits of snark. Her daintiness and fragility make sense as a consequence of her disability, but it’s very easy for her character type to slip into a simplified, unbelievable porcelain doll archetype. Letting her be messy or mad or snippy or snarky like this are all good ways to add some human color to her character

“Don’t treat me like I’m so far away.” Chihiro herself seems to understand how people tend to treat the archetype she verges on, and she doesn’t want to be treated that way

Aw man, they’re so in love. I feel that’s often undervalued in these sorts of tragic romances – we get tons of longing and sadness, but not enough of lovers just enjoying being together. I personally would really like to see more stories about people who are already in love – and not necessarily as a starting point for disruptive drama, but even as a slice of life. I think Spice and Wolf scratched that itch for a lot of people; Lawrence and Horo weren’t necessarily in an active relationship, but they certainly acted like a married couple. I would absolutely love to see more stories that embrace the endearing quirks of life as a couple

“What did you write?” “It’s too embarrassing to say.” She’s writing about your dick Renji

“With every hour that passes, today’s events will fade one at a time.” WELP, TIME FOR SADS. See, that’s all we get! Like two minutes of the happy couple!

Chihiro’s story reflects on the “blurriness” of her paintings, which seem to represent her old diary entries

“Why was the picture blurry when it had once been so clear?” I wonder if this is the consequence of her collapse and long sleep after trying to hold onto her Renji memories

So her choice is to burn all the paintings. Does that mean she’s going to throw away her diary?

Yep. She decides she shouldn’t have interacted with anyone, thus learning all the things she could lose. DAMNIT CHIHIRO

“When I finished the story, I knew I’d be finished, too.” Again, more parallels with Hiro’s narrative, through this obsession with giving yourself up to your art completely

“I want to say goodbye while I can still say I love you.” And this directly mirrors Miyako’s words, when she said that she “wanted to disappear while I’m still in your heart.” Everyone in this story desperately seeks permanent evidence of their feelings and existence

And she tears out and tosses away all the pages of their meetings, ostensibly to protect him from the pain of being with her. Jeeeeez

And Done

WHEW. Well, that was another very fine episode, on the whole. It was nice to see Renji and Chihiro able to simply enjoy some time together, and the episode was pretty terrific in visual terms. I also appreciated how cleanly this episode’s conflicts echoed those of the Hiro story, which certainly helped the show feel that much more thematically cohesive. I don’t really agree with Chihiro’s final choice, but it certainly fits for her character, so now I’m just waiting to see how Renji somehow makes this right. Chihiro straight-up breaking her chains would feel cheap, but how else can these two find a happy ending? I guess the best thing I can say for this episode is that I MUST WATCH THE NEXT ONE NOW.

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