Hey folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! I’ve got quite the grab bag of a Week in Review this week, as my house checked out some Bollywood action-dramas, examined Justin Roiland’s new comedy, and at last watched the anxiety-inducing Uncut Gems. At this point, perpetual lockdown has turned this entire spring into one unending and largely featureless day, and checking out new media has become one of the only things separating what I did this week from what I did seven weeks ago. So please enjoy my attempt to maintain some sense of time’s passage as we all endure this stressful era the best we can. Take care of yourselves out there, and please enjoy the new Week in Review!

This week we screened a couple of major Bollywood films at my apartment, guided by my housemate Neil, who grew up watching a great deal of Bollywood films (and who long-time followers might remember as one of the cohosts of my short-lived youtube channel). His suggestions first led us to Agneepath, a crime drama starring Amitabh Bachchan, the unparalleled top star of Bollywood during the ‘70s and ‘80s.

Agneepath comes later in Bachchan’s career, though, and his performance here is a somewhat strange one. Playing a son who turns to crime after his father is murdered for attempting to protect a small village, Bachchan spends the full film performing in an affectation that felt inescapably reminiscent of Scarface, from his sullen pride and gravelly tone to his white suit and narrative role. Bachchan’s character Vijay felt so hard-boiled that it was hard to actually invest in him as a vulnerable, sympathetic hero, and it was rather his buffoonish friend, played by Mithun Chakraborty, who actually carried the emotion of the film.

Agneepath’s self-seriousness and creaky narrative made for a somewhat dry experience; in contrast, Dabangg was glorious, creative madness from start to finish. Dabangg means “fearless,” and fearless certainly describes its protagonist, an irrepressible supercop played by Salman Khan. Khan chews his way through scene after scene with confidence and flair, in an action spectacle flush with beautiful dance scenes and genuinely excellent action choreography.

There were pretty major parts of this film that didn’t translate in a cultural sense, particularly when it came to romance – there’s a second act wedding heist that I didn’t really understand, and Khan ultimately manages to “get the girl” by convincing the girl’s father to kill himself. But ultimately, it’s really just the relationship between the two main brothers and their mother that this narrative genuinely cares about, and the film does a fine job of building up their tempestuous struggles, while also offering a consistent series of well-executed action setpieces, and also plenty of catchy songs.

A great number of American action films seem self-defeating to me, in that I feel action should generally be fun, but it’s often treated as deathly serious, as if pretending the drama is serious will somehow vault action films into a more “serious” vein of cinema. But action films have nothing to apologize for, and ultimately, I feel that embracing the fun and stylistic flourish inherent in action tends to result in more enjoyable features than keeping things grim. Bollywood’s approach to cinema exemplifies this: most films are carnivals with a variety of diverse attractions, and cohesiveness or tonal congruity are valued far less than making sure every scene offers something new. It’s obviously not a style I’d want to see applied to every film, but it’s an interesting and entertaining alternate take on how film can be constructed.

Speaking of action films that know how to embrace flourish and fun, we also watched the first John Wick again, which remained as exciting and basically perfect in its structure as it did the first time. While the film’s fight choreography, cinematography, and use of color are absolutely impeccable, and its slow-burning first act still serves as an absurdly effective way to establish both Wick’s humanity and menace, there were even more things that stuck out to me on this repeat watch.

John Wick is able to evoke the implication of an entire world of assassins through only slight hints of worldbuilding and visual design, or idle asides between Wick and his old associates. There is not a wasted moment within it, and yet it still feels both vast in its dramatic implications, and also never hurried in the slightest. Meanwhile, Keanu Reeves is goddamn perfect in this film – not “good in an undemanding role,” but a genuine force of energy in his own right, building a character who can truly express both tender vulnerability and the coldest eyes you’ll ever see. Keanu builds John Wick largely out of those smoldering eyes and a certain way of walking, and I wouldn’t want anyone else playing that part.

My house also screened the fifth Fast and the Furious film, Fast Five, which I was surprised to enjoy as much as I did. I’d previously seen both the first and third Fast and the Furious films, neither of which were particularly good, which meant I had to be actively convinced to sit down for this one. But as it turns out, Fast and the Furious is one of those rare franchises that improves as it continues, and keeps refining what it’s actually good at.

Fast Five is roughly half heist film, half action-adventure spectacle, and contains a handful of action setpieces that feel as organic and beautifully constructed as something out of an Indiana Jones movie. The opening train heist is a marvel of escalating stakes and tension, and the closing chase manages tocompletely  fulfill the promise of “a heist film where the main characters are the drivers,” as Paul Walker and Vin Diesel drag a massive safe behind them as they flee through Rio. I never thought you could construct a version of the classic “you go ahead, I’ll hold them at the bridge” moment in a goddamn car chase movie, but Fast Five manages it beautifully.

I also checked out Justin Roiland’s new comedy, Solar Opposites. Roiland is the co-creator of Rick & Morty, along with Community’s Dan Harmon, and his distinctive voice work is probably the best thing about Solar Opposites. Aside from that, Solar Opposites is probably most accurately described as “what people who hate Rick & Morty think Rick & Morty is like,” as it imports a great deal of Rick & Morty’s caustic attitude, pop culture commentary, and gleeful self-awareness, but utterly lacks the fascination with narrative structure or genuine human emotions that make Rick & Morty stimulating and emotionally satisfying, rather than just aggravating.

Roiland clearly lacks Harmon’s gift when it comes to both iterating and commenting on narrative form, and his characters are simplistic, antagonistic sitcom templates, rather than human beings with antagonistic templates thrust upon them. Many of Solar Opposites’ jokes are simply “pop culture reference!” or “ultraviolence!,” and the show frequently embraces the outdated, simplistic structure of sitcom staples like “battle of the sexes episode” without actually arriving at any new ideas, content merely to point out that what it is doing is a cliche. Roiland doing a variation on his Rick voice for Solar Opposites’ lead is pretty close to the only good part of this show; it’s not unwatchably bad or anything, but it’s such a lackluster imitation of such a superior predecessor that it’s hard not to feel a little fatigued watching it.

Finally, I at last got around to checking out Uncut Gems as well this week, which is an excellent movie that I’m absolutely never watching again. My heart just couldn’t take it; the entire film feels like a two hour anxiety attack, as Adam Sandler continuously attempts to flee his debts by digging further downwards, putting himself in larger and larger holes in the process. Sandler’s performance here is excellent; he’s spent a great deal of his life playing sad, pathetic puppy characters, and here that sadness adds just a hint of relatability to a character who’s largely driven by his addiction to gambling, making the audience feel like we’re stuck in the passenger seat of a perpetually accelerating car.

I was also happy to see Lakeith Stanfield turning in a sharp-edged but ultimately sympathetic turn as one of Sandler’s last unburnt bridges; after seeing him in Get Out and Atlanta, it’s clear he’s a dynamic talent with great things ahead. With a colorful ensemble cast, a unique and incredibly effective soundtrack, and a cat-and-mouse narrative that ascends to a shockingly cathartic climax, Uncut Gems is just a damn great thriller in all regards. Still not watching it again, though.