Jeez, the anime seasonal schedule is all kinds of messed up, huh? According to broadcast schedules, late August is somehow just two-thirds of the way through the summer season. Well, I can’t exactly complain, and it’s frankly my own fault for not transitioning to a more appropriate title system over a year ago. I dunno, the 13-week divisions just seem like a convenient partitioning device; and at this point, it’d probably be more confusing to change the system, anyway.

That aside, you folks probably aren’t here to read me muse about the outdated framing of these vaguely defined articles. You’re here for some friggin’ reviews, and I’m here to provide, with an odd selection of features ranging from giant ants to journeys beyond the stars. There’s an insurmountably vast number of great films out there, and I’m delighted to share and reflect on just a few more of them. Let’s get to work!

First up this week was a film I’ve actually seen a few times, the loving Star Trek spoof that is Galaxy Quest. Tim Allen stars as Jason Nesmith, the actor who played Commander Taggart on the titular ‘80s TV show. Nesmith and his fatigued co-stars now spend their time running the convention circuit, signing autographs and repeating catchphrases. But one day, Nesmith receives a unique invitation from a group who claim they are “Thermians,” and need to be rescued by the galaxy’s most competent heroes.

As Allen and his fellow crewmates soon learn, the Thermians really are aliens who really do need to be saved, and who have adopted Galaxy Quest as a series of “historical records” that essentially informed every aspect of their current society. The premise is ripe for comedy, and the film is brimming with playful riffs on Star Trek, the nature of celebrity in fandom, and the ways we can draw real meaning from fake adventures. Additionally, the supporting cast is frankly absurd.

They got goddamn Alan Rickman for the Spock analogue who “played Richard III, damnit,” and he absolutely nails it, evoking palpable disdain for his own legacy, and bickering constantly with Nesmith over the distribution of good lines. Sigourney Weaver serves as the equally overcast communication’s officer, whose role on the ship is “to repeat the things the computer says.” And Tony Shalhoub plays the ship’s engineer, evoking a quiet absurdism through his perpetual mild amusement, and snagging the film’s best line with a well-placed “it’s the simple things in life you treasure.”

In total, Galaxy Quest remains an excellent comedy from start to finish. You don’t even really have to be a Star Trek fan to appreciate the vast majority of its humor, though there are plenty of smaller gags for more embedded fans. A fun, loving sendup to the goofiness and grandeur of fandom.

After that, we leapt back in time to the heyday of scifi creature features, checking out Them! In Them!, a series of disappearances in the New Mexico desert leads to the discovery of giant ants, car-sized insects made monstrous by the effects of radiation. Mankind must work quickly to defeat these terrible ants, or risk being replaced as the planet’s dominant species.

I frankly didn’t expect Them! to hold up as well as it did; I was prepped for full camp, and instead got a largely successful sci fi-horror film. The film holds its monsters in reserve with the confidence of a great suspense drama, letting the characters’ investigation of their crimes build up a tremendous amount of tension, and effectively employing the ants’ whistling cry to emphasize their encroaching menace. And when the ants do arrive, they may not be entirely convincing, but they’re still creepy as all get-out. The investigation into the ants’ subterranean home is legitimately anxiety-provoking, with the layouts emphasizing the jagged forms of dead ants all around them, evoking something like Aliens’ journey into the abyss.

Along with its strong cinematography and effective horror fundamentals, Them! is also an engagingly scripted, efficiently plotted sci fi thriller. Edmund Gwenn brings a charming energy to the requisite scientific expert role, making the most of an unexpectedly witty script. And the film effectively builds towards an action-packed finale, feeling much like a more spectacle-focused companion to the original Godzilla (released in the same year). Them! may no longer possess the capacity to genuinely terrify, but it has no difficulty entertaining.

Next up we screened Barbarella, a movie that is as goofy as it is horny, and god damn is it horny. Jane Fonda stars as the titular space adventurer, who must sexily traverse the universe in order to stop “Durand-Durand,” a scientist who has created a humanity-destroying superweapon. Barbarella is the kind of movie where the spaceships all have full interior shag carpeting, and phallic conversation pieces lurk on every corner stand. The set design is frankly delightful, and everyone involved seems like they’re having a great time, playing their roles with only a slight wink of self-awareness. The film barely has a plot after the first few scenes, but offers a wonderfully silly world to visit, and is visually engaging enough to never wear out its welcome. Not a strong recommendation, but a fine watch if you’re looking for something lighter, or need a companion film for your Zardoz double feature.

We followed that with a film that’s been on my list for forever, the noir classic Double Indemnity. Fred MacMurray stars as Walter Neff, an insurance salesman who runs into Phyllis Dietrichson (Barbara Stanwyck), a housewife in an unhappy marriage. Immediately entranced by Phyllis, MacMurray is strung along by her inquiries into insurance fraud, with the two of them ultimately collaborating to use Walter’s knowledge of the insurance business in order to commit the perfect murder.

Purely as a historical object, Double Indemnity is an indispensable icon of noir history, featuring the definitive articulation of many of the genre’s most beloved tropes. In spite of him actually being an insurance agent, MacMurray’s consistent voiceover basically sets the model for a hard-boiled detective ruminating over their life choices, while Stanwyck is both captivating and terrifying as the quintessential femme fatale. Subtler genre standards like the use of venetian blind lighting are also both originated and perfected here, with the cinematography creating an effective sense of entrapment in spite of the relatively mundane sets.

Of course, historical relevance aside, Double Indemnity also just fuckin’ cooks as a nail-biting thriller. The film’s dramatic framing device creates a sense of urgency and inevitability right from the start, as we are immediately informed that Walter’s plan has all gone to hell, but have no clue to the specifics. From there, the film never slows down, maintaining a steady procession of anxiety-provoking hooks all the way to the finish line.

Early on, it’s the fiery, transparently dangerous rapport between MacMurray and Stanwyck that provides the energy, as MacMurray is drawn into a plot that even he can see is a terrible idea. From there, the execution of the perfect crime takes over, as MacMurray offers a fascinating view into the insurance side of accidental deaths. And finally, there’s the knuckle-biting “hunt” sequence, as MacMurray’s fellow insurance bloodhounds tear into his case, ripping at the seams of his perfect crime.

Double Indemnity boasts a great script, great cast, and great direction, and probably stands within the top five or so most essential noir films of all time. If you enjoy noir, thrillers, Hitchcock, Welles, or just good movies, you’ll have a great time with Double Indemnity.

Finally, we concluded our screenings with Stargate, a ‘90s scifi film that contends the pyramids were indeed created by aliens, and what’s more, they left a portal that can carry us to them. I think Stargate is actually at its best before its cast opens the titular gate, stewing in the mystery of what lies beyond, and the intellectual puzzle of translating the gate’s symbols. Once we get through to the other side, we learn the awful truth: this film fell maybe thirty million short of its needed budget, and thus none of the sets, costumes, or lighting setups are going to be visually convincing.

Along with its awkwardly made-for-TV-tier visual design, Stargate’s narrative is relatively predictable, with its “civilization on the other side of the universe” coming across like any other oppressed people in any other “we journey to an island and liberate it” narrative. Fortunately, Kurt Russel is there, and puts in a fine performance as the team’s military leader. With a few other compelling performances to accompany him (Jaye Davidson’s alien god is a particular highlight), Stargate makes for a perfectly watchable experience, though nothing I’d actively recommend.