Hey folks, and welcome the fuck back to Wrong Every Time. You ready to finish some Symphogear? This has been a journey seven years in the making, with Symphogear’s very identity shifting substantially over the course of its season. From a debut season heavy on body horror and cliffhangers, Symphogear has steadily gained narrative confidence and a clear sense of joy, honing its found family instincts and building up a whole squad’s worth of lovable murder idols. And in spite of embracing every possible manner of insane dramatic indulgence, the franchise’s narrative bones have remained strong, evincing not just the explosive highs, but also the firm dramatic skeleton that defines great action media.

If anything, I’m almost sad the show wasn’t more indulgent in its treatment of endearing villains like Noble Red or the Autoscorers. Symphogear introduced so many charming characters that it simply didn’t have room for all of them, but XV has done its best to celebrate all the adorably nefarious foes that have come before. And with the team themselves now “falling, burning, and disappearing, then,” it appears we’ve come full circle, ready for a final confrontation with one more would-be god. Let’s take it to ‘em, Wielders. Let the song in your heart take flight, and hold a determination to fist. Let’s SYMPHOGEAR!!!!

Episode 13

“Let’s Make History With A Light Even The Gods Don’t Know.” YES, this is what I’m HERE for, thank you Symphogear for coming through in the clutch. Reprising the season subtitle, vaguely alluding to the conflict before you, yet ultimately being chiefly preoccupied with assembling a collection of letters that sound portentous and epic but are barely translatable into human thoughts. I love to see it Symphogear – five ‘bikis out of five

Shem-ha even quotes that original season subtitle as they fall. You’re digging your own grave here, Shem-ha

No time for an OP today, we’ve got a final battle to get to!

Love all their fancy poses as they show off their new Angelic Flame Armor. Normally shows introduce constant new armor and outfits like this in order to sell more toys, but I get the feeling Symphogear’s team are just in it for the love of the game

“Cursed Fist, God-Killer.” I guess Hibiki has assembled some pretty badass titles when you lay them out like that

Oh my god. Shem-ha repeats Miku’s question from before about what Hibiki would do if Miku was causing trouble, and without even thinking about it Hibiki responds “I’LL PUNCH YOU.” I think attempting to trap this opponent in crafty intellectual puzzles is not the right approach, Shem-ha

“We’re not being nullified by her impossible power?” Gosh this show has a lot of special sentences

The party’s so powered up that the effects animation is frankly making the actual combat choreography a little hard to see. Still, I do really like the care they’ve taken to animate the flames actually flowing around our heroes

“A mythology-class special disaster is being created!” Fuck, that’s like the worst class

“It’s Shem-ha’s final form! She’s a real Deus ex Machina!” Because she’s a god and also a machine, oh my god. Symphogear, you are going to kill me

She summons hundreds of mini fighters to battle alongside her. It seems we’ve finally escaped the Noise, but Symphogear battles still demand a bunch of minions to smash through

Chris’ new attack is just a giant ghost-Chris that stands behind her and fires a huge gun. Kinda phoning that one in there, Symphogear

“It’s because she had feelings for you that she couldn’t put into words that this vessel accepted me even for a second.” Human instrumentality to ensure total mutual understanding is pretty old hat at this point, but it fits for this story – Hibiki’s always been driven by her fundamental belief that people can come to understand each other if they communicate, and Shem-ha’s goals stand as a repudiation of that belief

Kirika, Shirabe, and Maria do a combined attack that transforms into a mecha and punches Shem-ha. The animators are clearly just freestyling at this point

The group do a sweet combined attack, but Shem-ha reverts to her Miku voice and breaks Hibiki’s concentration. That scoundrel!

“I want to take Miku for myself! Not for other people, but because I want it!” YES HIBIKI. YOU DESERVE LOVE

“The earth’s orbital speed is increasing due to disruption from Yggdrasil’s core!” Our Wielders are going to have to perform a classic Superman trick and actually fuck with the earth’s rotation. At this point, that frankly doesn’t seem any more ridiculous that the things they’ve already accomplished

“I’ve countered the connection barriers induced by solar radiation. Now the bio-terminal network will be constructed.” I love how Symphogear has this tendency to introduce fantasy nonsense solutions to fantasy nonsense problems it only invented a moment prior. I would never have been asking “hey wait, how has Shem-ha’s plan accounted for the connection barriers induced by solar radiation” if Shem-ha herself had not announced that was a problem that needed addressing

Oh man, now this is some animation. Love these cuts of Hibiki and Shem-ha exchanging blows as they fly across the terrain, really making use of this space to create a sensation of speed and impact

“My emotions! My feelings for Miku! Who says they’re worth less than 2000 years of curses!?” One of the most weirdly romantic lines I’ve ever heard

AAand there it is, playing the OP over the final battle. Let’s get to work, Hibiki

And rather than a closed fist, Hibiki extends an open hand towards Shem-ha, shattering her blade

And so Shem-ha is defeated! Great, goofy cut of her evil ghost wailing against the moon and then exploding

“To never let what I love go again…” In a show full of lesbians, Hibiki apparently had to reestablish herself as the Alpha Lesbian before the conclusion

With the battle dying down, we learn that Carol sacrificed herself to preserve Elfnein’s memories. A doting big sister to the last

We even get the classic “whisper one thing the audience can’t hear into your ear.” It’s great, you don’t even have to write anything, but the audience assumes you came up with some sweet parting line

Welp, turns out Yggdrasil’s still doing its thing even with Shem-ha defeated. I mean, the world tree came all this way, it’d be a waste not to reshape humanity’s destiny at this point

I guess if you’ve already had a battle on the moon, the only way you can escalate is to have your final battle in the earth’s core

With a gajillion more foes before them, the party is saved by… Miku, now controlling her wielder form! Alright cool, now they can go on superhero dates together

I do wish she’s adjusted the outfit a bit, though. Those air turbine bell bottoms just aren’t flattering in the slightest

Everyone is reunited with their lost loved ones in this final song; it’s so indulgent and I love it so much. We’re even giving Ryoko one more splash of redemption, as we learn that her actual plan was to use these seven Symphogears to fix everything. Take that victory lap Symphogear, you’ve earned it

“It’s because we can’t understand others easily that we can care for others and come to love them.” An interesting counterargument by Miku – that it is the struggle to understand others that makes our relationships with them special. Trust Miku to actually provide a coherent thesis for our Wielders

Symphogear provides another bookend after the credits roll, ending as it began, with Tsubasa now praying at the grave of the Kazanari clan

And we end on the leadup to our leads’ mutual confession. It’s your world now, girls!

And Done

Ah, what an eminently endearing production. From its humble presumed origins as “a post-Madoka world is clearly ready for another take on Nanoha,” Symphogear rose to claim its own glorious identity. Matching magical girl and giant robot roots with both action movie bombast and slice of life emotional acuity, Symphogear offered five generous seasons of absurd action and charming character bonds, pilfering widely from world mythology in order to populate its preposterous fantasy universe. Mad scientists, nefarious alchemists, evil gods, and an untold number of nameless geometric foot soldiers all fell before our brave heroes, faltering one and all in the face of their brilliant songs and burning hearts. I’ve seen few shows that so enthusiastically and successfully embrace anime’s spirit of dramatic excess; it’s been a wild and abundantly entertaining ride, and I’m happy to see the series end on such a high point. Thank you for all the memories, Symphogear!

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