Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! Today I am happy to report that this article actually has something of a binding philosophy, as all of its features fall within the same meta-franchise umbrella. This week saw us conducting a marathon of all the non-essential Alien films, skipping genuine classics Alien and Aliens, and instead commencing with Alien vs Predator. This theoretical heresy didn’t really bother me, though; frankly, I’ve probably seen those first two Alien films more than any other movies period, as they’ve both been favorites since adolescence. Alien will always be one of the greatest horror movies ever, and Aliens one of the peaks of action cinema – and as I get older, I can only better appreciate the deft, organic dialogue of Alien, the way its capitalist and sexual threats build off each other, or the masterful ebb and flow of Aliens’ propulsive run. The first two Alien films are essentially perfect, succeeding both as visceral entertainment and as embittered commentary on how capitalism will embrace any violation to perpetuate itself. So how do the other Alien features fare?

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