Hello folks, and welcome back to hooooly shit it’s 2026. That is too large of a number, too late of a year. That’s far enough into the 21st century that I can’t actually blame The Youth for categorizing people as “from the last century,” even if such framing makes my bones creak. I’m fuckin’ old, you guys; I’m now “slept on my knee wrong and thus suffered a month of agony” old, and all that is new is strange and terrifying to me. Even the fact that I’m typing this rather than announcing it into my phone’s camera marks me as an Old Person; the written word has lost the war, but I’ll be fighting this fruitless battle until my beard descends into a cozy grey cocoon, and I’ve gained the solemnity of age to mumble indistinctly about “the war” and “back in my day” and other comforting mantras of obsolescence. But that is fortunately still a great number of movie screenings from now, and in the meantime, I’ve got plenty of thoughts on my latest viewings. Let’s get to it!

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