Record of Lodoss War – Episode 2

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m happy to announce we’re returning to the majestic Record of Lodoss War, and checking in on the continuing adventures of Parn, Deedlit, and their motley crew of adventurers. This OVA series’ first episode offered pretty much the quintessential slice of Dungeons & Dragons adventure, prominently featuring both dungeons and dragons, and demonstrating most of the fundamental appeals of the format: exploring interesting locations, bonding with unlikely companions, applying your wits to various traps and puzzles, and ultimately facing off with mighty foes, collaborating to prove that together, you can survive and triumph over practically any obstacle.

In the early days, that was basically what DnD was all about; an exploration and battle simulator with a high fantasy coat of paint. It was up to the players to instill these basic actions with a sense of grandeur, and so they did, crafting massive fantasy vistas like our current war-torn island of Lodoss. Record of Lodoss War’s visual aesthetic is so strong, and its confidence in its mythcrafting so complete, that it has managed to maintain its place as the quintessential high fantasy anime for over thirty years, a living testament to the power of evocative art design. Let’s see how Parn’s journey begins as we return to the adventure!

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Yuri is My Job! – Episode 8

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! Today I’m eager to stop back in at Cafe Liebe, as our salon employees prepare for the upcoming Blume election. With Hime and Mitsuki having reestablished their friendship, our focus has turned to Hime’s friend Kanoko, who is tentatively confronting her fear of the admittedly intimidating Sumika. Of course, what Kanoko seems to perceive as “gyaru delinquency” is really just an expression of confidence in self; Sumika is happy with who she is, and thus does not feel compelled to mold her personality into precisely one internally coherent shape.

To our gallery of anxious and performance-bound heroines, Sumika’s confidence feels pretty close to a superpower. Hime knows how to please others, but her performance is not authentic to her actual feelings, which she generally keeps tightly buried. Mitsuki only knows how to commit herself to clearly defined tasks, and uses the formalized language of Cafe Liebe to substitute for her lack of casual conversational aptitude. And Kanoko can barely talk at all, only feeling comfortable expressing herself with Hime, and even there hiding the actual nature of her feelings.

Compared to them, Sumika’s comfort in her own skin and unapologetic embracing of her hobbies must indeed feel intimidating – for she has discovered the secret lying beyond the horizon, and understands that all of this adolescent performative roleplaying is only useful insofar as it leads you to a satisfying, authentic self. Fuck the haters, find your people, and let the rest take care of itself. Now let’s get back to the show!

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Spring 2025 – Week 1 in Review

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. We’re finally reaching some warmer spring days at this point, which means I can finally… well, mostly just stay inside and keep watching movies, while also feeling somewhat more guilty about doing so. I also watched through the entire Fishman Island abridged version that Toei have been airing in place of new One Piece, which left me with mixed feelings; there were certainly places where the original version could use tightening, but also essential moments and crucially paced sequences that were either excised or abridged to a deleterious extreme. Regardless, the viewing prompted me to finally write the Fishman Island thematic essay that I’ve been thinking about for ages, so you can all look forward to that coming sometime soon. In the meantime, let’s break down the week in films!

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Blue Reflection Ray – Episode 7

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re returning to the tangled drama of Blue Reflection Ray, a fact I announce with some trepidation, given the show’s recent turn towards genuinely harrowing personal drama. Princess Yuki’s experiences with online abuse served as a thoughtful exploration of both the promise and dangers of seeking community online, effectively capturing the contradictions of socializing in online spaces. For the many people feeling isolated in our increasingly atomized modern world, online communities are a crucial lifeline – but crowdsourcing your sense of self-worth is an incredibly fraught gambit, thus necessitating the forging of genuine, intimate connections like Yuki’s bond with Miyako.

Then we got into Niina’s story, which has proven even more devastating. Abused by her mother and eventually cast out on the street, Niina had lost all hope for the future when she was discovered by Hiori’s sister Mio, and drawn into the company of the red reflectors. Could any promise our team might offer sound like anything but fanciful, naive lies to one so mistreated by life? Regardless, I’ve been thoroughly impressed by Blue Reflection Ray’s refusal to pull its punches, and can only hope better things lie ahead for poor Niina. Let’s get to it!

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The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You – Episode 12

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we return to the amorous battlefield of 100 Girlfriends, having crossed into a brave new world from which I can see no hope of return. I had really thought Kusuri was going to define the peak of lunacy for this show, but “Rentaro rescues Hakari from her mother by agreeing to also date said mother” has outdone her and then some. I am sorry Rikito Nakamura, I was clearly unfamiliar with your game.

With Hahari now adopted into the Happy Rentaro Family, I imagine this new threshold of insanity will be subsumed into the group’s general dynamic with preposterous efficiency. Fortunately, there’s always the post-girlfriend cooldown episode to celebrate what some specific new arrival brings to the team, so buckle your seatbelts, folks. Will Rentaro dating both Hakari and her mother somehow illustrate this show’s general emphasis on open communication and attending to your partner’s feelings? I really can’t see how, but this production is nothing if not surprising, so let’s get back to the madness and find out!

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The Legend of Vox Machina S3 – Episode 5

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m delighted to be returning to the adventures of Vox Machina, as they attempt to flee the bowels of hell with a big nasty devil hot on their trail. Well, technically not the bowels of hell, since they’re actually pretty high in its layers – more like the esophagus of hell, I suppose? Regardless, in true devil’s bargain fashion, last episode’s daring feats of gambling by Pike were only enough to get them safely beyond Zerxus’ doors. For the rest of their journey, they’re now free game for Zerxus’ minions, who have been instructed that only Pike needs to return intact.

Meanwhile, my own party is making their escape from an equally oppressive pocket realm, as they charge forward towards the final battle against Strahd. Our DM has mercifully acknowledged our general frustration with Curse of Strahd’s limited venues for player expression and one-note tone, and thus we recently barreled through the last pre-climax hurdles at warp speed, gathering weapons, liberating allies, and hatching anti-Strahd schemes all in the course of one mammoth session. One of the most important skills you can develop as a DM is flexibility, and the understanding that you are collectively creating a living text – by fast-forwarding through material we clearly weren’t passionate about, they were able to create a version of Curse of Strahd that was actually paced such as to keep our interest.

As of now, we’re currently mid-battle with Strahd, with my peace cleric Tilly attempting to keep his attention off my friends by calling him things like Strahdy-wahdy and Strahdikins. Meanwhile, our noble bard Tulip keeps me alive, swashbuckling rogue Oberyn skewers him with the Sun Sword, and Uncle Fester-reminiscent wizard Dr. Bob does god knows what with his impressive magical faculties. I can vividly see the freeze frame of our ongoing battle in my head, and can’t wait to get back to the fight – but for now, we’ve got some hells to escape and a dragon to slay. Onward!

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Winter 2025 – Week 13 in Review

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. This week saw me finishing up Persona 3 Reload, after first attempting and failing to finish the original game back in 2008 or so. I had a fine enough time with it on the whole, though in retrospect, it probably wasn’t a great idea to play this directly after Metaphor: Refantazio. Metaphor demonstrates Atlus’ powers at their current peak, polishing and innovating on Persona’s framework in both a mechanical and narrative sense; in contrast, 3 feels dated compared to its successors, its core loop less embellished with variations, its narrative wandering and poorly structured. Nonetheless, there’s a core appeal to Persona’s make friends->build Pokemon->make more friends->build stronger Pokemon loop that remains one of the most addictive compulsions in game design, and I did appreciate 3’s clarity of thematic focus, even if it was kinda lacking in the human element that made 4 and 5 so special. Also, movies! We ran down a pile of movies this week, so let’s get to those!

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Mezzo Forte – Episode 1

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re checking out another unique artifact of anime history, from a creator with a truly singular career track: Mezzo Forte, the two-episode turn-of-millennium OVA directed by Yasuomi Umetsu.

Umetsu has jumped between production studios frequently throughout his career, serving as animator and character designer for a variety of productions before making his directorial debut with the exceptional “Presence” segment of Robot Carnival. That sequence is Umetsu at his best, demonstrating his distinctive, detailed style of character art alongside his exuberant, almost gaudy approach to color design. Since then, Umetsu has proven himself an exploitation cinema auteur, with his on-hands approach to every aspect of production marking works like Kite and Wizard Barristers as indelibly his. There is a solemnity and playfulness in Umetsu’s work, but these instincts share space with prominent threads of indulgent erotica and chaotic action; it is little surprise that Tarantino loves his work, and even less of one that Tarantino has not been able to win him a cultural reassessment on the scale of Battle Royale.

All of this is to say that Umetsu embodies the distinctive strangeness of anime as a medium, a man wholly dedicated to his grindhouse vision, and whose talent in design, direction, action staging, and animation are so undeniable that his works carry his obsessions into the spotlight. Whether they flatter my genre wheelhouse or not, I am always eager to expand my understanding of anime’s true originals, and Umetsu emphatically qualifies. Let’s see what awaits us in Mezzo Forte!

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Big Windup! – Episode 16

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. We report to you now from the first round of the summer tournament, where the top-seeded team and last year’s winners Tosei are facing off against the largely unknown Nishiura, whose roster appears to consist of largely freshmen players. Predictions weren’t calling for much of a competition today, but you know what, I gotta hand it to these Nishiura newcomers – whether it’s Tosei’s star pitcher Takase showing some nerves or whatever you’d call it, the freshmen are really putting up a fight.

We’re now at the top of the second inning, with Nishiura once again mounting a strong offensive in the face of Takase’s pitching. That said, the real story of this game might well be Nishiura pitcher Mihashi Ren, who knocked Nishiura out of the first inning in six pitches flat. Could that simply be beginner’s luck, or are we witnessing the first prelude of a new dynasty? Regardless, it’s turning into an all-out slugfest as both teams grapple for first blood. Let’s get back to it!

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Yuki Yuna is a Hero (Washio Sumi Chapter) – Episode 5

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we are returning to a scene of great and senseless tragedy, as we check in on Togo and Nogi in the wake of their partner Gin’s heroic sacrifice. With both of her allies incapacitated and a squadron of vertices approaching the divine tree, Gin did what she’s always done: take the burden entirely on herself, fighting and dying so that the people she loves could be safe. That same selfless instinct that made her such a caring older sister and fixture around town was here ruthlessly exploited, manipulated so that she might become fuel for beings beyond our comprehension.

That’s pretty much how it goes in Yuki Yuna is a Hero. The series has consistently emphasized how personal kindness and a sense of communal responsibility are exploited by our overseers, perverted into jingoistic nationalism and an utter denial of the self. True heroism always reveals itself on the personal or local level, in the actions of Yuna’s hero club, or in the concern Gin extends towards her neighbors and loved ones. But when such generosity of spirit is directed towards god or country, it is instantly corrupted, framed instead as emotional weakness ripe for exploitation. Whether it’s a government, religion, or the eldritch conflation of both that is the divine tree, loyalty to such distant icons is where our inherent goodness goes to die – and today, an extraordinarily decent person was killed just so, in service to a deity that has no conception of morality whatsoever. Let us see how our survivors are faring, as they struggle in service of the centralized, amoral beast at the heart of the modern world.

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