Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we stand at the penultimate episode of Bodacious Space Pirates, with Marika having assembled the remnants of Sea of the Morningstar’s once-proud pirate armada. From a position of strength so great they were once relied upon to maintain the region’s independence, these pirates have been winnowed down not by open combat, but by the steady erosion of the economic climate where they once thrived. Once proud privateers, they have been reduced to couriers and theme park attractions, more emblems of local flavor than drivers of martial destiny. And now, they are being targeted practically for sport, their existence deemed an acceptable loss for the cause of testing new weaponry.

It’s a dark day for pirates, to be sure, but they fortunately have the irrepressible Marika on their side. Though a life of piracy initially seemed far-fetched to our young heroine, she now appears to represent piracy’s future, or at least the hope of piracy having a future. With the implacable storm head of capitalism bearing down on her and the remaining stalwarts of piracy at her back, Marika stands ready to make history however this plays out. Let’s embark on a fresh episode of Bodacious Space Pirates!

Episode 25

I like how the design of this pirate hideaway embraces the relative architectural freedom of space station design. Rather than all being offshoots of one central hanger, this hideout’s ship docks are all free-floating hangers, allowing for much greater freedom in getting heavy equipment or machinery directly to some particular vessel. I appreciate when a writer actually puts some thought into how zero gravity and the vacuum of space might impact our design sensibilities; though of course, it’s also charming in its own way when a writer says Fuck It, space is just another sea, all spaceships are fighting on a two-dimensional board

Our narrator continues to wax philosophical in his usual manner, now reflecting on how becoming a “master” of anything requires a significant degree of familiarity, and that to choose a life of piracy means to turn continuously away from the comforting and familiar

The fact that Luca was replaced by an android without her knowing seems to prompt a moment of reflection from Marika, a silent acknowledgment that she doesn’t know her crew as well as she probably should

Hyakume deduces that the Luca-bot was a one-off model made for military purposes

After the crew solemnly accept that Luca is dead, the genuine article pops in with a ton of souvenirs and a preposterous tan

She graciously gifts Marika a dozen Hawaiian shirts

Marika states that the invader from last episode “had the feel of a pirate.” It does seem true that her bold solo confrontation with Marika is precisely the sort of theatrical, honor-driven performance that a pirate would favor

And now that same invader is just chilling out in the conference room. Given Bodacious Space Pirates’ usual methods of conflict resolution, I wouldn’t be surprised if this whole existential crisis is solved via one boardroom meeting

Meanwhile, the Parabellum is docking at the station, which doesn’t seem to surprise the head chef in the slightest

The head chef’s line cooks are like thirty feet tall, or else he’s about six inches tall

Nope, they’re just going with the idea that these dudes are giants, as the screen literally shakes in time with them walking out of the room. Beautiful

“There are more space pirates than just those with Letters of Marque!” Apparently, Quartz’ shoulder clasp signifies her status as a pirate recognized by the Galactic Empire

“I am one of the imperial pioneers who journeys through unknown space!” So it seems the Galactic Empire actually uses pirates for a very different purpose than Sea of the Morningstar, treating them as scouting units rather than entertainers. As such, she’s actually closer to the original image of pirates as bold privateers, rather than the cultural relics they’ve become in Marika’s territory. This could go some distance towards explaining her animosity towards these pirates – she might rightfully see them as clowns rather than adventurers, having abandoned the pursuit of true novelty and freedom in favor of reliable incomes as caged entertainers

This also seems to reflect the narrator’s pre-OP spiel: though I initially figured the contrast between familiarity and freedom was pertaining to Marika’s choice of high school versus piracy, it also applies to this bolder contrast of Morningstar piracy against Quartz’ more traditional, exciting form of piracy

“My goal is to hunt pirates.” Cue every gun in the room being pointed at her. Half this episode has been Quartz acting out that cat flanked by knives meme

“She’s underestimating us. That’s why she showed up here.” God, Marika has a will of iron. All the other pirates are either intimidated or infuriated by Quartz’ show of confidence, but Marika just notes it as a weakness and moves on

Love this beat of Quartz being annoyed by the spotlight on her, attempting to walk out of it, and promptly being lit up by a new spotlight

Then Ironbeard arrives, bearing the same Galactic Empire pirate mark as Quartz. He states that the queen demands Quartz’ return, and that he has come to retrieve her

I wonder to what extent the Galactic Empire is actually ruled by its royal family? They’ve sort of been characterizing the empire as the face of overall economic progress, so I figured it wouldn’t have such an antiquated form of governance

Also, pretty sure Ironbeard is the narrator? A quiet joke in that as well: when we finally get a face to assign to all these bold proclamations about the nature of piracy and glory of the stars, it’s this costumed weirdo

Marika demands that Ironbeard explain himself

“One man who can see into the endless future is not enough. Only when others stand with him will we ultimately see the end of space.” Yeah, that’s definitely the narrator alright

Quartz does not seem impressed by Ironbeard’s pontificating

“I planned on getting the drop on them, and Kato Marika ended up running the show. And you hogged the spotlight!” In spite of her stated desire to murder all pirates, Quartz’ combination of extreme pride and childishness is making her pretty endearing. I imagine Marika will have declared them friends by the end of this conflict, in spite of Quartz’ likely protests

“Your safety is more important than your dignity.” So is Quartz in some way tied to the royal family?

Quartz is ambushed by the dissident faction, but Blaster Ririka and a guy who’s clearly like Kane’s brother or cousin or something defend her

Oh my god, it’s literally his brother, whose name is of course Shane. It seems the Bentenmaru crew past and present possess deep ties to Ironbeard’s operation, which begs the question of why they’ve kept Marika in the dark about all this

“The pirates of this region are about to be given a choice: to become true pirates, or cling to their Letters of Marque and remain pirates for hire.” While Ironbeard’s methods differ, he clearly also sees something tragic in piracy being reduced to spectacle like this. I feel like Ironbeard’s philosophy is somewhat at odds with Bodacious Space Pirates’ own priorities; he is all about the romance of the infinite horizon, whereas Bodacious Space Pirates’ author clearly finds the collision points between our fantasies of space travel and its actual practical realities even more interesting

Though I suppose even a Bentenmaru dedicated to exploring the far reaches of space would still end up running into the same sorts of conflicts; human nature is what it is wherever you go

Coorie heads up the pirate armada’s electronic warfare division, which is otherwise entirely populated by star-struck engineering students

And Quartz’s response to Marika’s formal challenge basically sounds like hate-flirting. Marika’s gonna win this girl over yet

And Done

And so we set off towards the final battle! The elements are all falling into place for an appropriately riotous conclusion, and I’m frankly feeling a little melancholy about this show not continuing onwards into the cosmos. Basically everything this episode established regarding the Galactic Empire and larger world of piracy seemed intended to set up a riveting next act in Marika’s journey, where she essentially serves as Sea of the Morningstar’s representative in a galactic alliance of bold explorers. And Quartz is such a fun antagonist, too! I’ll miss this off-kilter production, but I’m glad to see it ending on such a high point. Onward, to the final duel!

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