Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m eager to get down to the course for a fresh episode of Birdie Wing, as we continue our journey through the high-octane world of semi-legal street golf. Approaching the staid, frankly lethargic pastime of white-collar retirees with the energy of Girls und Panzer or JoJo’s Bizarre Adventure, Birdie Wing has so far offered a riveting introduction to its fanciful golf-based society, as our heroine Eve crosses clubs with all manner of adversaries in order to save her equivalent of a youth community center.

Whether it’s the aforementioned GuP or Scorching Ping Pong Girls or Umamusume or whatever, shows within this absurd sports subgenre generally require a balance of two things: Fanciful Flourishes and Firm Fundamentals. After Birdie Wing’s first episode demonstrated its knack for absurd one-off embellishments, its second emphasized its equal commitment to grounded mechanical drama, presenting a faceoff of Eve and new rival Aoi that showed off their distinct approaches to the bunkerfield. With that balance struck, we’re now roaring into the narrative destination of nearly all such stories: the venerable tournament arc, wherein strokes will be tested and blood will be shed upon the well-watered, close-shorn fairway. Let’s see how the battle’s proceeding as we return to Birdie Wing!

Episode 3

We begin by panning up a grand skyscraper the night before the tournament, wherein our devilish adversaries are surely even now concocting their malevolent schemes. As before, the prominent use of multicolored neon lights does a fine job of adding some texture to the obscured CG backdrops

Ah, right. We’re setting up Eve’s shocking appearance in the tournament, with her handler Rose appealing to the apparent Baroness of Birdies

Just a touch disappointed that this overseer’s cigarette holder isn’t shaped like a golf club. Well, can’t win ‘em all

Eve immediately offers her body as payment. Goddamn, girl

Rose proposes agreeing to her “earlier offer,” which remains unspoken. An efficient way of turning this plot contrivance into a mystery hook, transforming what would otherwise play as exposition into an active source of intrigue

“I always strike when the iron’s hot. And the die is already in the air.” Her mixed metaphors are powerful indeed – I like how “iron” here could also apply to a golf club

Thus we jump directly back to the first hole, a 383-yard par four. A tidy lesson in arranging scenes for maximum impact; rather than end on this first scene last episode, which is still essentially an expository down note, we end with the high-impact and inherently question-provoking moment of Eve’s arrival on the course. This in turn makes this episode’s opening scene the resolution of an existing question, making it feel more inherently active, while also employing the audience’s general tendency to accept more exposition at the beginning of a story (or episode) than at its conclusion, where the energy should remain high

“What are you doing, Aoi? You’re not competing until the last group.” Amane is a convenient sounding board for Aoi, either challenging Aoi to express herself or articulating her thoughts directly. A calculating glasses-pusher can serve a variety of natural expository roles in a sports production, from articulating character psychology to ensuring the audience can parse the mechanical interplay of a given conflict

Eve lays out the challenge, and Aoi requests Amane tell her Eve’s score every three rounds, to create a sort of simulation of them actually competing against each other. I suppose that’s one convenient thing about golf – because you’re not directly interacting with your opponents, you can “compete” even if you’re not playing at the same time

Of course, such sports are also naturally harder to create viewer-friendly conflict out of, since there’s obviously less direct back-and-forth than in a sport where you’re actively interacting with your foe

“A Match Between Just the Two of Us”

Love the extremely scene design of Rose’s apparent “little sister.” The inherently subdued, polo and slacks-heavy aesthetic of professional golf really helps our extravagantly costumed characters stand out all the more

“Why do we have to watch some straight-laced kids play?” This show has a pretty much inexhaustible vein of comedy in its base assumption that golf of all sports has a secret street-level dark side

“She’s already pierced through her enemies’ hearts in just two holes.” Poor generic design adversaries

Rose says that Eve “sucks at golf, but is strong.” Which is clearly true – her strategy is incredibly rudimentary, she just has the physical strength to overpower her enemies with distance. She’s basically Happy Gilmore

“We focus on crushing the opponent’s spirit.” I like this explanation of Eve’s style. On a longer timeframe, Eve would lose consistently, because she gambles too much with each shot. But Eve never plays on that timeframe – she’s out to break her opponent’s confidence, and for that, her ability to shoot further and more accurately within the space of a hole or two is ideal. Thus this tournament presents a natural question, of whether she can sharpen her general play to compete with opponents through score alone across an entire course, rather than by physically overwhelming them within a shorter competition

Rose further explains how Eve’s style naturally draws others towards echoing her risks in order to keep up, leading to their eventual defeat. But again, this will do nothing to help her if she’s not facing her opponent directly

In general, shonen sports protagonists tend to lean towards such lopsided talents, because they present a natural contrast with a more standard approach, leading to dramatic shifts in fortune that naturally facilitate engaging narrative action. It’s like how many action heroes are defined by “uncommon resilience,” meaning they tend to start off on the backfoot then rise through exertion, creating a natural dramatic arc relative to a more standard opponent. A trend that holds from Hajime no Ippo through One Piece

“She’s a destroyer. Nothing more.” Once again emphasizing how Eve currently sees golf as a path to domination, not personal connection or happiness. A clear road for Aoi to lead her down

“She smells like money.” Perhaps the most honest assessment

We then cut back to Helene, who’s entered a tailspin after being defeated by Eve

Eve’s apparently already three under par by the third hole

Jumping to the fifth hole, we find Eve at last in the rough, a source of brief hope to her poor opponents

Another demonstration of her straight-through philosophy as she fires directly at the green, rather than spending a shot to get back on the fairway before making a safe approach. If she’s willing to fire directly through trees, she’s certainly not gonna let a little high grass stop her!

“You’re four ahead of the pack.” Interesting how this staggered approach for our leads impacts the drama, creating a sense of Aoi “chasing” Eve across the course

We then jump to Raiou Girls’ Academy in Japan, where we meet Ichina, a girl determined to become a top-level caddie. Alright, super drives that blast straight through trees are one thing, but a person who actually dreams of becoming a caddie? They’re really pushing my suspension of disbelief here

Her companion Haruka brags that she’s Aoi’s rival. Sorry girl, I’m pretty sure you only exist to give Ichina someone to exposit to

Eve finishes the front nine five under par, while Aoi adds on to her two-under placement at the fifth hole by securing an eagle

Yeah, they’re doing an excellent job of turning this staggered “duel” into a novel form of competition. With Aoi doing so well on the first half, Eve is now forced to take bigger risks to maintain her lead, and somehow turn a smaller collection of holes into a larger number of birdies and eagles

“There’s only one answer – power up my bullets!” Her strategy remains charmingly straightforward. I feel like one advantage of this being a two-cour production is that we can spend all this time establishing Eve’s starting point as both a person and competitor before forcing her through any transformative growth

“You’ve never used a slice or a hook. You can only shoot straight ahead.” It is indeed a preposterous deficiency for our alleged all-star golfer, a weakness the show can only counter through her straight-ahead shot being essentially magical. But that actually works for a show like this – we’re not looking for the kind of nuanced differences in strength that define actual golfers, we’re looking for something that is simultaneously parsable to newcomers, visually/dramatically exciting, and reflective of her personality

As expected, Amane’s serving as our announcer, setting up each challenge in turn to make its contours clear to the audience

A novel strategy for Eve: just playing the course repeatedly until she’s exploded every tree branch that stands in her way

Hah, love this bombastic postcard memory shot as Amane acknowledges Eve’s true power

Some soft focus and emphasis on Eve’s breathing seems to emphasize how she’s not accustomed to playing a full eighteen holes

Our leads’ increasing unity of purpose is underlined through them essentially trading off lines at the conclusion, as they at last reunite face-to-face. It’s clear already that Eve’s philosophy is changing, given how upbeat she’s acting in spite of being defeated

And Done

But what’s this!? Has Rose implemented some fiendish secret plan, ensuring Aoi’s shot would only graze the final hole? What devilishness have these deviants inflicted on such a noble pastime as golf, corrupting its purity with their wicked wiles!? Regardless, this episode served as a winning demonstration of Birdie Wing’s sturdy narrative fundamentals, expanding our cast and clarifying Eve’s dramatic arc all while charging through an entire course’s worth of competitive back-and-forth. You can only go so far on audacity alone, and this episode effectively laid the foundation to facilitate plentiful future audacity, all while intelligently cloaking its groundwork in active golf drama. It is no easy thing to make a story like this feel so effortless!

This article was made possible by reader support. Thank you all for all that you do.