Skip and Loafer – Episode 11

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’d like to take a stroll back to the delightful drama of Skip and Loafer, as our two charmingly mismatched leads muddle their way through the school festival. Through the combined pressures of Mitsumi’s self-assigned responsibilities and Shima’s participation in the class play, the two are each essentially revisiting their childhood dreams, seeing how their old ambitions fit them, and where their new feelings might lead.

This process has prompted some good, productive friction for both of them, as Mitsumi reaches the limits of what she can do alone, and Shima grapples with his complex feelings regarding stage performance. But regardless of their personal journeys, what has been made abundantly clear is just how much they care for each other, and desire to keep each other from harm. Shima expresses this concern through his attempts to shield Mitsumi from disappointment, while Mitsumi pushes Shima to embrace uncertainty, knowing he is strong enough to pick himself back up. Let’s see how their dance continues as we return to Skip and Loafer!

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Uzumaki – Episode 2

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I announce with some degree of trepidation that we are returning to Uzumaki, the recent adaptation of Junji Ito’s famed horror manga. Though the first episode of this adaptation was actually phenomenal, there were apparently some catastrophic production breakdowns in the course of this series’ oft-delayed genesis. As a result, this second episode no longer boasts direction by Hiroshi Nagahama, the horror maestro whose uncanny application of rotoscoped animation and fastidious attention to sound design detail made the first episode such a wonder.

The reasons for this breakdown are both obscure and predictable; I don’t have exact knowledge of who pulled the plug, but it seems obvious that someone on the American side of this production got cold feet regarding the time and labor required for Nagahama’s approach, and instead tossed the production to a director who is renowned for putting in slipshod, subpar work at presumably cheaper rates. This is of a piece with American producers’ general lack of respect for the work that goes into anime production, and with Adult Swim in particular’s conflation of nostalgia with artistic value. Shows like the FLCL sequels embody Henry Ford’s maxim of “if I asked the people what they wanted, they’d have said faster horses” – it is up to great artists to show people what they could never have imagined wanting, and a philosophy born of “I want to recreate the exact conditions of when I first saw Cowboy Bebop at 1 AM on Adult Swim” will never produce such new ideas.

Thus we journey onward, into the consequences of high-level producers demanding swift, affordable results from a process whose fruits they could never measure or understand. With the spiral closing in around Uzumaki itself, we return to the field!

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Fall 2024 – Week 5 in Review

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. This week represents a new milestone in DnD’s ongoing invasion of my every waking moment, as we ran through our first twelve-hour session, running from three in the afternoon to way too fucking late in the goddamn morning. Assured by our guest DM (party leader of our first two campaigns, now playing second to my character in campaign three) that this would just be “a quick investigation followed by a Metal Gear Solid boat,” we found ourselves ten hours later in the midst of a fight with an unkillable barbarian, recreating the Vamp water battle in an actively sinking ship. I have lost control of my life.

That aside, this week also featured some excellent film screenings, alongside my conclusion of the beloved original Trigun. Let’s talk about all that!

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Frieren: Beyond Journey’s End – Episode 6

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I thought we’d step back into the world of Frieren, as our heroes prepare for a confrontation with an imposing dragon. Having been instantly rebuffed by the monster’s mighty scales, Frieren has decided it is time for the party to acquire a front-line fighter, that she might be afforded more time to conjure a properly armor-piercing sorcery. Thus our pair headed off to recruit Stark, the ax-wielding apprentice of Frieren’s old companion Eisen, only to find he’d been studiously avoiding confrontation with the dragon for three years.

It’s no surprise that our party of two mages are now in the market for some kind of warrior, but Frieren has so far avoided straightforward fantasy action, with each of its conflicts ultimately resolving in some quiet revelation regarding the nature of memory, personal relations, or finding purpose in your life’s journey. I’ll be intrigued to see how Stark facilitates these dramas, as he actually seems like the most “normal” member of the group, at least compared to Frieren’s elven sensibilities and Fern’s trauma-born perspective. With a dragon battle awaiting us, let’s meet back up with our brave heroes!

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Big Windup! – Episode 13

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am eager to return to the field for a fresh episode of Big Windup!, as our boys continue preparations for the first round of the summer tournament. Having secured a matchup against last year’s eventual winners, their practice regimen has been appropriately grueling, involving pre-dawn wakeups, drills into the night, and a thoughtful combination of physical and mental conditioning.

Most sports shows offer some manner of engagement with the psychological underpinnings of their leads’ behavior, whether it’s something as simple as “I have to fulfill my father’s dying wish” or a nuanced array of emotional factors. But Big Windup! is somewhat unique in that it treats our base impulses as simply more muscles to be trained, with instincts like “tensing up during key plays” countered through persistent meditation and Pavlovian implanted associations. And all of this training is uniquely appropriate for a game like baseball, with its almost “turn-based” combination of passive stretches and frantic action.

Great sports writers have long understood that the science and strategy of baseball makes it a natural facilitator of Hunter x Hunter-reminiscent chess matches, wherein the efficacy of certain training regimens or strategic gambits can be made brutally apparent through close attention to the ebb and flow of conflict. I’m eager to see how our boys’ training pays off, so let’s get right to the action!

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The 100 Girlfriends Who Really, Really, Really, Really, REALLY Love You – Episode 8

Hello folks, and welcome the heck back to Wrong Every Time. Today we are checking in on the hundred girlfriends at a moment of crisis, as Kusuri’s well-intentioned yet morally dubious love potions have sent her fellow girlfriends into a kiss-hungry frenzy. With a pack of feral lovers nipping at their heels, Rentaro and Kusuri must now engage in a race against time to return these girls to normal, lest they be trapped forever as amorous animals in human form.

So basically, it’s just another day in the life for Rentaro and company. Well, mostly – Kusuri’s introduction has undeniably raised the overall chaos level of the production, and from all the “yes… soon…”s that I’ve been receiving from friends on Twitter, I imagine things will never be the same. She is a delightful amoral goblin with far too much power at her disposal, and I look forward to seeing what nonsense she inflicts on our innocent polycule next. Let’s get to it!

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Fall 2024 – Week 4 in Review

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am eager to finish this dang article and get the heck outside, as we’re apparently experiencing some sort of late-October summer reprise, with temperatures in the 70s even as the leaves fall from the trees. You gotta take what victories you can during our ongoing environmental collapse, but fortunately for you all, this unexpected bounty of perfect weather has not stopped me from huddling inside and watching movies all week. This week I’ve got epic adventures, sordid slashers, and also a gorgeous anime feature by a man who is rocketing up my list of favorite directors. Let’s break ‘em all down!

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Anne of Green Gables – Episode 18

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I thought we’d take a stroll over to Green Gables, where Anne is currently embroiled in the midst of a great crisis. With Diana’s utterly unreasonable mother still holding the Currant Wine Catastrophe over Anne’s head, our heroine was forced to break a sacred vow, and at last return to school. Though Mr. Phillips and Gilbert remain detested foes, Anne is determined to be strong for her bosom friend’s sake, and has even learned that the imagination-bereft Millie Andrews is actually a pretty nice girl.

So yes, it has all been a maelstrom of torment for our beleaguered young Anne, as she has been sure to tell anyone who will listen. However, the tempests of adolescent emotion are as fickle as they are fierce, and I imagine this particular storm will blow over in time for Christmas. In the meantime, I’ll be happy enjoying Anne’s preposterous editorializing of her profoundly normal problems, as well as the sumptuous realization of Green Gables offered by Takahata and his formidable team. Let’s get to it!

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Galaxy Express 999 – Episode 4

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am eager to continue our journey aboard the Galaxy Express, and see what wonders the cosmos have to offer us. Well, I say that like I’m expecting anything good to happen, when in truth Tetsuro’s journeys have mostly centered on veneers of exotic beauty peeling away to reveal cores of profound tragedy. The abandoned sands of Mars, the superficial freedom of Titan, and even the majestic beauty of one-time train attendant Claire, all vivid dreams that soon proved themselves nightmares of mankind’s eternal, self-destructive striving.

Of course, theme-ravenous cynic that I am, Galaxy Express 999’s broader reflections on society, capitalism, and whatever else Matsumoto can think of has only made the experience all the more rewarding for me. Through its mixture of fantastical vistas and humanity-in-decline parables, Galaxy Express has proven itself a paragon of one of my favorite genres: the post-apocalyptic travelog, typified by stories like Girls’ Last Tour and Kemurikusa. As it turns out, the ruins of mankind’s hubris serve as an ideal venue for ruminations on what is most essential to humanity, what we must hold sacred even when all else has crumbled. Let’s see what wonders await us at the next station!

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Yuri is My Job! – Episode 3

Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am eager to return to Cafe Liebe, and see how things are faring for our hapless kohai Hime. After being conscripted into service as a replacement for her manager Mai, Hime swiftly managed to trip over or smash into basically every convention of their fictional girls’ academy. Though she has some vague understanding of the genre territory being explored, the lingo is still foreign to her; she has mastered a precise script of feigned modern-day courtliness, but her affectation bears only a passing resemblance to the assumed calls and responses of Liebe Girls’ Academy.

Of course, that precise formality of assumed language is exactly why Liebe’s customers find this performance so enticing. Hime is talented at improvising in the manner of a genuine social butterfly, but the genre-born assumptions of Liebe flatter a very different audience, comforting those who, like Kanoko, find the vagaries of spontaneous conversation foreign and intimidating. Scripts provided by fiction allow those who have difficulty expressing themselves organically to connect with others; when the rules are so clearly defined, there is little fear of putting your foot in your mouth. And of course, it’s not like organic conversations don’t follow their own unspoken scripts, as Hime’s initial talents well demonstrate. All human interactions are in part a performance of selfhood, and through Cafe Liebe, Yuri is My Job! is consistently demonstrating the differences and nuances of performing for yourself, for the sake of being understood, and for the approval of an assumed audience. Let’s see how Hime fucks it up this time!

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