Symphogear XV – Episode 13

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Hey folks, and welcome the fuck back to Wrong Every Time. You ready to finish some Symphogear? This has been a journey seven years in the making, with Symphogear’s very identity shifting substantially over the course of its season. From a debut season heavy on body horror and cliffhangers, Symphogear has steadily gained narrative confidence and a clear sense of joy, honing its found family instincts and building up a whole squad’s worth of lovable murder idols. And in spite of embracing every possible manner of insane dramatic indulgence, the franchise’s narrative bones have remained strong, evincing not just the explosive highs, but also the firm dramatic skeleton that defines great action media.

If anything, I’m almost sad the show wasn’t more indulgent in its treatment of endearing villains like Noble Red or the Autoscorers. Symphogear introduced so many charming characters that it simply didn’t have room for all of them, but XV has done its best to celebrate all the adorably nefarious foes that have come before. And with the team themselves now “falling, burning, and disappearing, then,” it appears we’ve come full circle, ready for a final confrontation with one more would-be god. Let’s take it to ‘em, Wielders. Let the song in your heart take flight, and hold a determination to fist. Let’s SYMPHOGEAR!!!!

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Bodacious Space Pirates – Episode 21

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! I hope you’ve got your tickets ready, as today we’re bearing witness to the commencement of the 19th Nebula Cup. That’s right, it’s time for Bodacious Space Pirates, wherein Puppyhat and her yacht club compatriots will be competing for fame, glory, and presumably some kind of cash prize? I hate to be tacky about this, but I mean, we’re actually going to win something here, right?

Of course, regardless of how the actual race goes, Marika and the Bentenmaru will be receiving handsome compensation as the race’s security. And given the generally complementary relationship between narrative and, uh, conflict, the fact that Marika’s handling security basically guarantees this race is going to be a security nightmare. We’ve already been thoroughly spoiled by Kane’s return as club advisor (sorry, “coach”), and I’m expecting this arc’s comingling of Bentenmaru and yacht club drama to continue reaping hilarious dividends. Let’s see what the future holds!

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Scum’s Wish – Episode 6

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m eager to slink back to the tangled drama of Scum’s Wish, wherein Akane most recently consummated her relationship with Kanai. Of course, that wasn’t the satisfying bit for Akane – she actually finds Kanai profoundly dull, a stuttering mess whose perception of romance doesn’t seem to have changed since he was ten years old. But while Kanai may be a boring person and unfulfilling lover, he is nonetheless Hana’s unerring object of affection, and that makes him worth claiming. Akane isn’t really in a relationship with Kanai at all – she’s in a hate-lationship with Hana, and revealing she had sex with Hana’s crush is about as savory of a payoff as she could hope for.

But hey, at least Akane knows what she wants. As for our original leads, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that their variable baggage precludes any sort of healthy romantic partnership. Hana’s childhood abandonment by her father has left her with an inability to exist comfortably alone, meaning she perpetually seeks validation through physical relationships. In contrast, Mugi’s exploitative middle school relationship means he’s never really comfortable with others, his past girlfriend Mei having taught him to see intimacy as uncomfortable and transactional. It’s just a total mess on all fronts, and while the best solution remains “y’all need therapy,” I imagine Scum’s Wish has something very different in mind. Let’s get to it!

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Summer 2022 – Week 11 in Review

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Hey folks, and welcome on back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’ve got an unusually on-brand collection of films for you all, as my house powered through both a recent anime romance and Satoshi Kon’s final masterpiece. It’s frankly kind of ridiculous that I hadn’t seen either of these films yet; it’s not actually that hard to keep up on distinguished anime film releases, and I’ve only got like a dozen or so left to check out, so I should probably go ahead and polish off that portion of the medium. Regardless, I had an excellent time with both Josee and Paprika, and have supplemented them with a couple intriguing live action additions for spice. Let’s explore the final work by one of anime’s greatest masters, as we charge through the latest Week in Review!

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Ranking of Kings – Episode 7

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m simply delighted to be returning to Ranking of Kings, where Bojji seems to have at last crossed paths with his would-be mentor. The road to Despa’s doorstep has been long and treacherous, fraught with near-death experiences and bitter betrayals. Through it all, Bojji has retained his strong conviction and gentleness of spirit, and after half a season of being punished for those laudable qualities, I’m more than ready to see him finally win something.

Meanwhile, it seems Daida has truly run out of options, and is now a prisoner in his own kingdom. Having gained too much power too soon, Daida was undone by his own confidence, favoring the words of those who flattered his ego over those who tempered his pride. This is not to say Daida was uniquely ill-suited for the throne; rather, that like all of Ranking of Kings’ characters, he has been sculpted this way by a lifetime of experience, caught between the preferential treatment of his mother and the indifference of his father. Ranking of Kings does not presume to characterize people as inherently good or evil, worthy or unworthy – we are all an accumulation of disparate experiences, all capable of rising to greatness or falling to despair. Let’s see if Bojji’s can begin his own rise from the underworld, as we return to the remarkable Ranking of Kings!

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Spy x Family – Episode 5

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I thought we’d check back in on Spy x Family and the Forger clan, who most recently endured the terrifying gauntlet of Anya’s school interview. In spite of their flawless disarmament of the school’s pre-interview booby traps, Loid was unable to keep his cool when the faculty began prodding at Anya’s parentage, resulting in a premature exit from the meeting. That catastrophe has in turn prompted some collective reflections among the Forgers, serving as a harsh reminder of their family’s fragility.

Of course, this is the fifth episode of a show called Spy x Family, meaning Loid’s outburst will undoubtedly be interpreted as an affirmation of his family’s suitability for the school of elegance. I’m not worried about Anya, but I am hopeful about this threat to their family unit actually bringing them closer together, as they reflect on how much they’ve come to care about each other. As usual, I’m most eager to see more of Yor’s perspective; Anya and Loid’s relationship has already been grounded in their larger character journeys, while Yor and the nature of her relationship with the others is significantly less defined. Even just a brief reflection like Loid’s thoughts about his lonely childhood would go a great distance to humanize her, but either way, I’m sure there’ll be solid jokes and charming moments aplenty as we continue this preposterous adventure. Let’s get to it!

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Ganso Tensai Bakabon – Episode 2

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m excited to return to one of the most unusual reader request projects I’ve ever encountered, the ‘70s comedy Ganso Tensai Bakabon. So far, the show has mostly just rambled through a series of wacky adventures centered on Bakabon’s deeply stupid father, a trend I expect to continue for the foreseeable future. Rather than the continuing narratives that define the modern late-night anime paradigm, Ganso Tensai Bakabon is a classic sitcom, aimed at general Japanese audiences, and lacking the specific subcultural assumptions that further define/marginalize the shows we generally frame as “popular anime.”

As a result, Bakabon feels more akin to something like The Simpsons or Ren & Stimpy than Neon Genesis Evangelion. It exists within a lineage of television comedy that’s actually far more universal than what we generally recognize as anime, and it thus offers a more realistic portrait of general Japanese comedic and cultural sensibilities than our usual stories of giant robots and melodramatic boarding schools. At the same time, the show’s art design and animation embody the distinct excellence of Japan’s animation tradition, offering beautiful painted backgrounds and remarkably expressive flourishes of character movement. It’s altogether unlike basically anything else I’ve covered, and I’ve rambled more than enough at this point, so let’s get right back into Bakabon-papa’s nonsense!

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Summer 2022 – Week 10 in Review

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Hello folks, and welcome on back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am in recovery mode, having just spent four and a half hours leading my players through their first major dungeon crawl. Well, actually a castle crawl in this case, but regardless, it took me like fifteen hours to build that whole thing, and my party crushed it in one session. A winding stretch of countryside and full castle infiltration, five separate encounters each with their own unique mechanical dynamics, half a dozen fleshed-out NPC characters… my players are content-hungry beasts, and I don’t know how I’m possibly going to stay ahead of them. Plotting out adventures for those monsters basically consumed all my usual film screening time, but I’ve fortunately still sitting on about fifteen pages of film review buffer, so don’t you worry about any disruptions in the Week in Review pipeline. I’m sure attempting to juggle all this will catch up with me soon enough, but for now let’s not think of such things, and instead wander our way through some fresh cinematic selections. Onward!

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Hugtto! Precure – Episode 33

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m happy to be returning to Hugtto! Precure, wherein we most recently witnessed Homare attempting to reconcile her romantic feelings for a goddamn hamster. I’m frankly not sure how any episode could hope to top that one’s lunacy, and to be honest am not entirely discounting the possibility that it was all a fever dream or gas leak hallucination, but we must nonetheless do our best to carry on. Sometimes high schoolers fall in love with hamsters, this is just a thing that happens, and we’re all going to have to deal with it in our own ways.

With Homare x Housepet safely defused, I imagine we’re nearing the climax of Bishin’s villain arc. Bishin has always seemed more desperate for familial validation than truly villainous, so I’m guessing it won’t take too much of a push from our heroes to rehabilitate Harry’s old crewmate. I frankly wouldn’t mind if Bishin joined the team formally, but given we’ve already had one enemy turn Precure, I imagine “goth hamster Precure” is too powerful a concept to exist in this world. Whatever happens, I’m sure we’re in for a delightful time as we return to the world of Hugtto. Let’s get to it!

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The Legend of Vox Machina – Episode 8

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am ridiculously impatient to get back to Vox Machina, and see what our ramshackle adventuring party is up to. I doubt it’s been all that long on your end since our last Vox installment, but for me, I’ve been waiting three damn months to check in with this crew. Vox Machina is just too interesting of a concept, and so I got a little over-enthusiastic with my initial rampage of writeups, meaning it’s taken me months to justify throwing more Vox pieces on my buffer pile.

As it turns out though, this interminable wait has led to my return lining up with a particularly auspicious real-world counterpoint. Today is the day I’ll be starting my own D&D campaign, and finally taking over the DM reigns for something longer than a one-off adventure. At last, I’ll be able to shift from the theoretical criticism of “I’m pretty sure this is something our DM messed up” to the clarity of “this is something I definitely messed up,” and I couldn’t be more excited. I’ve spent the last few weeks pounding out thousands of words of backstory and worldbuilding, have developed roughly half a dozen quest lines for my players to enjoy, and have no doubt they will disregard all this work in favor of hanging out with a drunk gnoll named Sparky who I made up on the spot. That’s the fun of DMing, I am told, and I wouldn’t have it any other way – crafting a campaign for a group of unruly players is like trying to plot a novel while people throw dodgeballs at your head, and what activity isn’t improved by the threat of physical violence?

Anyway, my own collaborative adventures aside, I’m eager to see how Vox Machina are faring as well. I can’t imagine Percy is taking the apparent death of his sister gracefully, and presume we’re in for a fit of rage that even Grog might consider a little much. Let’s get to it!

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