Anne of Green Gables – Episode 9

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today seems like an ideal time to stop in at Green Gables, and so that’s precisely what we’re doing. When last we left off, Anne had made a royal mess of her first visit to Sunday School, with her unorthodox flower wreath swiftly making her the talk of the town. In my view all those busybodies should learn to shove it, but the experience was clearly deeply demoralizing to Anne herself. With no allies to speak of among the townsfolk, Anne trudged home with none of her usual pep or curiosity – fortunately, Marilla and Matthew are now both firmly in Anne’s corner, and thus were quick to comfort her with news of her neighbor Diana’s return.

The sequence of Marilla relaying this news to Anne, conveyed purely in silent mid-distance shots, was one of the aesthetic highlights of an episode altogether brimming with them. The episode felt more committed to storytelling through visual compositions than your average Anne, likely owing to the presence of Gundam creator and general animation legend Yoshiyuki Tomino as storyboarder. Tomino would soon depart this production to spearhead the original Mobile Suit Gundam, but he provided Anne with five storyboards first – episodes eight, twelve, fifteen, seventeen, and the one we’re just about to start. Let’s see what Takahata and Tomino have in store for us this time!

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Bodacious Space Pirates – Episode 19

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today it seemed about time to dive back into Bodacious Space Pirates, and see what Marika and her crewmates get up to next. The sky’s the (metaphorical, I know they’re going into space) limit at this point, as last episode essentially cleared the board of all lingering dramatic variables. Jenny Doolittle has been successfully enrolled at Space College, the yacht club are tucked safely in their beds, and the Bentenmaru’s main crew are back in the field, and presumably hungry for some action.

With exactly a quarter of the show left to go, and three clearly delineated arcs already under our belt, it seems more than safe to assume that we’re about to commence the show’s final major arc. This presumably coincides with the fourth of the original series’ twelve total volumes, meaning I’m not expecting any sort of genuine closure here. That doesn’t bother me, though – Bodacious Space Pirates has never been about any particular overarching conflict, and beyond that, it’s already most closely patterned on a proudly episodic space drama. Just as Star Trek promised an endless string of far-flung adventures, so too do I expect the journeys of Marika to continue long after we’ve left the scene. Let’s see what fresh mess she’s gotten into this time, as we return to Bodacious Space Pirates!

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Scum’s Wish – Episode 5

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I figured we’d take a fresh look at Scum’s Wish, wherein Hana most recently consummated her relationship with Ecchan. Of course, Hana doesn’t actually feel anything romantically towards Ecchan – she’s just lonely and horny and confused, driven by the taunting of Akane into whichever arms will hold her. It’s bad business all around, and Hana well understands that this new twist will undoubtedly harm basically all of her personal relations.

And to be honest, I’m perfectly fine with that. Hana is living in a daydream of romantic longing, idolizing her childish fantasy of romance over anything approaching reality. All the mental ink spilled over her feelings for Kanai and Mugi will fade from her consciousness with the end of high school; though she genuinely feels she is wallowing in unending misery, it is merely the broadness of her aperture preventing her from seeing how limited her perspective truly is. That’s part of why I so appreciate the introduction of characters like Akane or Moca, who proudly declare “I am going to cause problems on purpose” and then proceed to do exactly that. Hana doesn’t need Mugi, Ecchan, or Kanai – she needs to get out of her own head and find a hobby or something, and if it takes Akane’s meddling to achieve that, then I guess it’s time for some bad medicine. Let’s get to it!

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Summer 2022 – Week 1 in Review

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Hello and welcome to the first week of the summer season! Y’all ready for summer!? Yes, the distribution of months in a year does indeed make the commencement of “summer season” feel oddly delayed, and yes, that makes for a doubly weird experience when I’m not actually tackling seasonal anime in these things. But chill out, live a little, let’s just try and enjoy what summer we’ve got left. I’m currently enjoying that delightful New England combination of extreme heat and humidity mixed with oppressive gray skies, meaning the air conditioners are working hard and the movie screenings are plentiful. Today I’ve got wuxia classics, Italian pulp goodness, and even some actual anime, with my house proving ill-equipped to defend against Bastard!!’s gleeful absurdity. Let’s run ‘em down!

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Ojamajo Doremi Sharp – Episode 8

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am delighted to return to the world of Ojamajo Doremi, a fantastic franchise that we last visited three friggin’ years ago. That’s quite a long time in anime fandom, so let’s start off with a brief refresher. Doremi and her three friends Hazuki, Aiko, and Onpu are currently hard at work training to become full witches, which has most recently involved them taking care of a magical baby named Hana. Hana is so overstuffed with magical energy that her tantrums can topple buildings, so it’s been quite the challenge for our would-be witches – but having most recently cleared Hana’s magical health examination, they’re all feeling pretty confident about the road ahead.

That’s about where we’re at narratively, but of course, that doesn’t cover any of what makes this production truly special. With a production spearheaded by legends like Takuya Igarashi and Junichi Sato, Ojamajo Doremi benefits from expressive character animation, beautiful background art, and impactful, emotionally resonant storyboards. The show’s aesthetic strengths are further complemented by excellent character writing and unusually thoughtful vignettes, diving into difficult aspects of childhood and life more generally with frankness and grace. The show’s leads have grown significantly over the course of their journeys, and the production’s ensemble approach means we’ve come to know a great number of their friends and classmates as well. Ojamajo Doremi is an absolute standout of a magical girl show, one of those lightning-struck creative confluences that demonstrate anime at its best. Let’s see what our ojamajos have been up to!

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Hugtto! Precure – Episode 31

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re returning to Hugtto! Precure, where the gang most recently enjoyed a world tour courtesy of Emiru’s staggering personal fortune. Oddly enough, that world tour concluded within a handful of minutes, leaving only postcards and a vague, presumably invented memory of Hugtan cosplaying Marie Antoinette. The real meat of the episode took place at a Japanese bathhouse, where we learned that tengus are real, and while not explicitly aligned with Pretty Cure values, will presumably take their side in the coming war.

As that scatterbrained summary implies, it was a bit of a grab bag episode, reflective of our current arc-unmoored status. We’ve got potential threads to pull on regarding Lulu’s relationship with Dr. Traum and Harry’s old compatriots, but for the moment, the gang is basking in the freedom of a mid-season transition phase, going on vacations and checking in on relatives. Precure excels at this stuff; many of Hugtto’s best episodes are basically slice of life vignettes with fight scenes tacked on the end, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. As summer vacation comes to an end, let’s check back in on the heroes of Hugtto!

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Star Driver – Episode 5

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Hello everyone, and welcome the heck back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’d like to dive back into Star Driver, that intriguing combination of Igarashi and Enokido’s sensibilities. Between FLCL, Utena, Evangelion, Doremi, and Diebuster, the two of them were collectively involved in like a quarter of my most favorite anime, so it’s no surprise that I’m having a great time with Star Driver.

Last episode saw us finally spending some quiet time with Takuto and Wako, as the island fell under a Cybody-empowered spell. We learned that Wako once dreamed of leaving this island, but is bound here by her duty as a shrine maiden. Only breaking a maiden’s seal will allow them to leave – but with all the other seals broken, if Wako’s does as well, the Cybodies will be released.

Of course, given this is an Igarashi/Enokido joint, all this shrine maiden business mostly seems like a metaphor for the course of adolescence, and the demands for “purity” that so often restrict young women. Wako’s admission that “my grandma was supposed to teach me when I joined junior high. But when I was still in grammar school, I apprivoised on my own” maps perfectly to the awkward progress of puberty, implying the Cybodies are linked to our sexual maturation. Enokido has exploited similar metaphors throughout his career, from FLCL’s robot boners to their spiritual successors in Diebuster, not to mention Utena and Captain Earth. He is perhaps the greatest writer of one of anime’s most persistent narratives: “adolescence projected as apocalyptic external drama.” Let’s see how this metaphor develops from here!

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Spring 2022 – Week 13 in Review

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! Today I am happy to report that this article actually has something of a binding philosophy, as all of its features fall within the same meta-franchise umbrella. This week saw us conducting a marathon of all the non-essential Alien films, skipping genuine classics Alien and Aliens, and instead commencing with Alien vs Predator. This theoretical heresy didn’t really bother me, though; frankly, I’ve probably seen those first two Alien films more than any other movies period, as they’ve both been favorites since adolescence. Alien will always be one of the greatest horror movies ever, and Aliens one of the peaks of action cinema – and as I get older, I can only better appreciate the deft, organic dialogue of Alien, the way its capitalist and sexual threats build off each other, or the masterful ebb and flow of Aliens’ propulsive run. The first two Alien films are essentially perfect, succeeding both as visceral entertainment and as embittered commentary on how capitalism will embrace any violation to perpetuate itself. So how do the other Alien features fare?

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Symphogear XV – Episode 11

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Hello everyone, and welcome the fuck back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re barreling back into Symphogear, as this preposterously entertaining franchise soars towards its grand finale. When last we left off, Noble Red had made yet another last stand against our wielders, prompting the episode’s supremely awkward title, “Not a Crude Color of Rust.” Their unfortunate crew actually scored a victory in terms of their mission goals, but Elsa paid the bill for that success, by getting caught in an oversized transforming bear trap. That’s the tricky thing about fighting the symphogears – their powers are basically only limited by their imagination, so you never know when Hibiki or whoever is going to wipe a tear from their eye and then transform into a giant punch-happy dragon.

With only three episodes to go, I’m expecting the action to be nearly continuous from here on out, as each of our leads gets their big goddamn hero moment in turn. Symphogear knows well that there’s hardly a hair of distinction between “success” and “excess,” and given how ludicrously bombastic its prior endings have gotten, I can’t imagine what’s in store for its final finale. My harness is secured and the lap bar is firmly fastened, so let’s get this rollercoaster rolling!

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Spy x Family – Episode 2

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Hello folks, and welcome as always to Wrong Every Time. The last episode I wrote up was Spy x Family’s premiere, and you know what, I think we’re just gonna dive right back into it. Spy x Family’s first episode was an absolute delight, impressing both through its fluid animated highlights and, more crucially, through its fundamentally crisp and character-driven sense of humor.

I say more crucially not because animation is less essential, but simply because it is what adaptation is bringing to the material – on the other hand, fundamentally repetitive, simplistic, or just-plain-bad jokes can’t really be “buffed out” through skillful adaptation. Fortunately, it appears that Spy x Family’s mangaka Tatsuya Endo has a talent for pacing and understatement, as well a solid understanding of how to build gags out of our assumptions about his cast. And beyond that, by establishing a point of connection between Loid and Anya through their similarly painful childhoods, Endo was able to hit some strong emotional beats even within this admittedly ludicrous premise.

With Loid and Anya’s bond established, it appears it’s time for them to go shopping for a mom. Let’s see what lunacy this peculiar family gets up to as we return to Spy x Family!

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