Hello everyone, and welcome the fuck back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re barreling back into Symphogear, as this preposterously entertaining franchise soars towards its grand finale. When last we left off, Noble Red had made yet another last stand against our wielders, prompting the episode’s supremely awkward title, “Not a Crude Color of Rust.” Their unfortunate crew actually scored a victory in terms of their mission goals, but Elsa paid the bill for that success, by getting caught in an oversized transforming bear trap. That’s the tricky thing about fighting the symphogears – their powers are basically only limited by their imagination, so you never know when Hibiki or whoever is going to wipe a tear from their eye and then transform into a giant punch-happy dragon.
With only three episodes to go, I’m expecting the action to be nearly continuous from here on out, as each of our leads gets their big goddamn hero moment in turn. Symphogear knows well that there’s hardly a hair of distinction between “success” and “excess,” and given how ludicrously bombastic its prior endings have gotten, I can’t imagine what’s in store for its final finale. My harness is secured and the lap bar is firmly fastened, so let’s get this rollercoaster rolling!