Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! Today I am happy to report that this article actually has something of a binding philosophy, as all of its features fall within the same meta-franchise umbrella. This week saw us conducting a marathon of all the non-essential Alien films, skipping genuine classics Alien and Aliens, and instead commencing with Alien vs Predator. This theoretical heresy didn’t really bother me, though; frankly, I’ve probably seen those first two Alien films more than any other movies period, as they’ve both been favorites since adolescence. Alien will always be one of the greatest horror movies ever, and Aliens one of the peaks of action cinema – and as I get older, I can only better appreciate the deft, organic dialogue of Alien, the way its capitalist and sexual threats build off each other, or the masterful ebb and flow of Aliens’ propulsive run. The first two Alien films are essentially perfect, succeeding both as visceral entertainment and as embittered commentary on how capitalism will embrace any violation to perpetuate itself. So how do the other Alien features fare?
Author Archives: Bobduh
Symphogear XV – Episode 11
Hello everyone, and welcome the fuck back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’re barreling back into Symphogear, as this preposterously entertaining franchise soars towards its grand finale. When last we left off, Noble Red had made yet another last stand against our wielders, prompting the episode’s supremely awkward title, “Not a Crude Color of Rust.” Their unfortunate crew actually scored a victory in terms of their mission goals, but Elsa paid the bill for that success, by getting caught in an oversized transforming bear trap. That’s the tricky thing about fighting the symphogears – their powers are basically only limited by their imagination, so you never know when Hibiki or whoever is going to wipe a tear from their eye and then transform into a giant punch-happy dragon.
With only three episodes to go, I’m expecting the action to be nearly continuous from here on out, as each of our leads gets their big goddamn hero moment in turn. Symphogear knows well that there’s hardly a hair of distinction between “success” and “excess,” and given how ludicrously bombastic its prior endings have gotten, I can’t imagine what’s in store for its final finale. My harness is secured and the lap bar is firmly fastened, so let’s get this rollercoaster rolling!
Spy x Family – Episode 2
Hello folks, and welcome as always to Wrong Every Time. The last episode I wrote up was Spy x Family’s premiere, and you know what, I think we’re just gonna dive right back into it. Spy x Family’s first episode was an absolute delight, impressing both through its fluid animated highlights and, more crucially, through its fundamentally crisp and character-driven sense of humor.
I say more crucially not because animation is less essential, but simply because it is what adaptation is bringing to the material – on the other hand, fundamentally repetitive, simplistic, or just-plain-bad jokes can’t really be “buffed out” through skillful adaptation. Fortunately, it appears that Spy x Family’s mangaka Tatsuya Endo has a talent for pacing and understatement, as well a solid understanding of how to build gags out of our assumptions about his cast. And beyond that, by establishing a point of connection between Loid and Anya through their similarly painful childhoods, Endo was able to hit some strong emotional beats even within this admittedly ludicrous premise.
With Loid and Anya’s bond established, it appears it’s time for them to go shopping for a mom. Let’s see what lunacy this peculiar family gets up to as we return to Spy x Family!
Eureka Seven – Episode 14
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today it seemed just about time to check back in with Eureka Seven, wherein we most recently followed up the show’s most ambiguous and portentous episode with a friggin’ buddy cop adventure. Eureka Seven is truly a show of many contrasts, and I actually loved seeing Renton and Dominic endure some forced bonding over the course of their errand. With Renton’s childlike adoration of Gekkostate having faded into a weary tolerance of Holland’s antics, the two share both an antipathy towards the organizations they represent, as well as a fierce loyalty to the mysterious women at their sides.
It is clear enough by now that both Eureka and Anemone are in some way connected to the Coralian threat, serving as points of connection between the human and Coralian worlds. The watery imagery and series of claustrophobic enclosures presented by episode twelve called to mind both adolescent transformation and the water of the womb, motifs echoed by Eureka Seven’s clearest predecessor, Evangelion. But while we’re beginning to get a clearer grasp of how Eureka Seven’s worldbuilding echoes its thematic priorities, we still know too little to meaningfully chart this story’s trajectory.
For that, we’re going to need some clarification from our good captain Holland. Holland stands at the intersection of Eureka Seven’s narrative and thematic mysteries; his past conceals the worldbuilding we have yet to learn, while his future will likely dictate what precisely Eureka Seven is trying to say. I’m eager to grill our young captain immediately, but also down for some lighter adventures in the wake of our first act climax. Either way, I’m sure there’ll be plenty to marvel at as we return to the world of Eureka Seven!
Spring 2022 – Week 12 in Review
Hello folks, and welcome on back to Wrong Every Time. Summer’s in full swing at this point, but predictably, I’m spending the better part of my free time indoors and preoccupied with a replay of Fire Emblem: Three Houses. I’m not really a musou fan, but the release of Three Hopes reminded me of just how much I loved Three Houses, and I certainly can’t say no to this mass infusion of new fanart. Unfortunately, in spite of my very best efforts, I’m currently just replaying the Black Eagles route. Look, it’s just really hard to betray Edel once you’ve already made that commitment, and also it’s pretty hard to recruit Bernie if she’s not already on your team. But fortunately for you all, my misadventures at Garreg Mach have been accompanied by an eclectic selection of screenings, and I’ve got plenty to say about all of them. Let’s run down the latest features in one more Week in Review!
Sherlock Hound – Episode 2
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I thought we’d continue our journey through Sherlock Hound, that beautiful collaboration between TMS Entertainment and the Italian public broadcasting corporation RAI. So far, Sherlock Hound’s inviting aesthetic and measured storytelling have felt akin to the legendary World Masterpiece Theater productions, and with good reason – many of Sherlock Hound’s key staff members also worked on WMT productions, including scriptwriter Yoshihisa Araki, storyboarder Seiji Okuda, and of course, director Hayao Miyazaki. The late ‘70s and early ‘80s were an incredibly fertile time period in anime production, as a new generation of master artists brought to life a diverse selection of world literature.
So far, Sherlock Hound seems a tad more fantastical than its WMT contemporaries, embracing elements of science fiction and action-adventure that seem more specifically up Miyazaki’s alley. That’s all fine by me; I’m happy to season my Arthur Conan Doyle with a hearty dash of Lupin the Third, and perhaps even a garnish of Future Boy Conan. Speaking of which, episode two was actually directed by Keiji Hayakawa, who served as assistant director under Miyazaki on the Conan film, so I imagine we’ve got more high-flying adventures in short order. Let’s get to it!
The Legend of Vox Machina – Episode 5
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I thought we’d sidle back into The Legend of Vox Machina, wherein the party most recently set off for Percy’s ancestral home. Well, most of the party – Pike apparently broke her magical doohickey, and thus has to set off on a personal journey to “apologize to the Everlight.” This narrative development seems messy, but it’s precisely the kind of messy that embodies Vox Machina’s difficult negotiation between narrative and game, which in turn makes it of tremendous interest to me!
As I reflected in the last episode, the “primacy of the party” is one of the central tenets that defines D&D-format fiction, as it is the interplay of the party members that forms the backbone of any campaign. As such, any separation in the party must be undertaken for the most crucial of reasons, when the narrative absolutely demands it – and “my Everlight phone broke” certainly doesn’t qualify. Forcing a character to leave because an object that had been assigned no prior significance now needs attention is, quite frankly, hack storytelling – it’s the equivalent of a character exiting the narrative because they think they left the oven on, not because anything in their existing character or narrative demands it.
When I put together “breaking the party is a D&D cardinal sin” and “Pike’s reason for leaving is entirely disconnected from the ongoing narrative,” I arrive at just one reasonable conclusion: Pike’s actress was busy for a while, and had to step back from the game. This, too, is a natural quirk of D&D narrative design: sometimes the whole cast just can’t be there, and so your rogue or your druid will exist in a weird liminal space behind you, until the whole party can regather. It’s a very strange thing to see such a pragmatic design limitation translated into earnest narrative drama, but that’s precisely the sort of weird negotiation I like about this series. Let’s see what’s in store at Whitestone Manor!
The Demon Girl Next Door – Episode 8
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we’ll be winding our way back to The Demon Girl Next Door, wherein our two leads have been busy balancing out their lopsided relationship. Though Momo appeared all confidence at the start, it’s clear now that she’s maintaining a stiff poise to mask her internal sea of fears and regrets. Momo believed anything short of perfection would be failure – but with Shamiko at her side, she’s at last willing to acknowledge her insecurities, and maybe even share some of her emotional load.
Unfortunately, it appears our heroes have run out of time to sort out their emotional issues. A new magical girl has just arrived in town, and given everything Momo has told us about their usual disposition, I expect some fireworks are shortly in order. To be honest, this new girl’s prominence in all of the season two material people are sharing means I already know our leads will befriend the shit out of this newbie, but I imagine the path there will be as messy as it is hilarious. Let’s return to The Demon Girl Next Door!
Spring 2022 – Week 11 in Review
Hey folks, and welcome to Wrong Every Time. How’s everyone doing today? I’m currently attempting to will myself into writing up another article after this one, because goddamnit, that Current Projects list is not going to watch itself. But dubious productivity aside, I’m actually feeling pretty great at the moment, and looking forward to a jog later this afternoon. It’s becoming something of an annual tradition for me to start up one of those “couch to 5k” running plans in early spring, get pretty darn fit by the end of summer, and then squander my gains when it gets too damn cold out. I really should invest in a gym membership or something this winter, but as of now, I’m currently in the peak improvement segment of my fitness arc, which syncs up perfectly to the brief period of tolerable New England weather. Also I just received an extremely nice note from a long-time reader, which is, you know, day made right there. I know it can be intimidating to send messages to creators you like, but there is nothing more rewarding than hearing you made a positive impact in someone’s life. And don’t limit that courage to internet folks – we’re not on this ball for very long, and I’d say the best thing we can do with that time is to let people know they are loved.
Alright, I’m getting all mushy here and you folks don’t need any of that. I’ve sifted through my review sack and emerged with an interesting medley of features, with topics ranging from the apex of genetic engineering to the lawless drama of the old west. Let’s run down some movies!
Ranking of Kings – Episode 5
Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today the sky is bleak and overcast, and the summer heat has cooled to a murky chill, so it seems time for a show that will brighten this atmosphere. And what better source of light and joy is there than young prince Bojji, with his warm smile and generous heart? Surely we can count on Bojji to part these clouds, summon the sun, and generally restore vitality to this cold gray day?
Well, perhaps he could if not otherwise occupied, but as of now it appears that Bojji has been kicked into hell itself. Domas has carried out his terrible assignment, choosing loyalty to the crown over his own moral compass, and Bojji has resultantly plummeted from the surface world. Meanwhile, his brother Daida doesn’t actually seem to be faring much better, having been convinced by his mirror to consume his father’s power. It’s a messy situation for both our boys, but as Mitsumata once told Bojji, they would do well to remember that there are people who care for them. Let’s see how both prince and king handle these new obstacles as we return to the Ranking of Kings!