The Legend of Vox Machina – Episode 9

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I come to you just two days after my last D&D update, with jubilant news regarding my campaign’s first session. After a somewhat halting start, the rest of my session went absolutely fabulously, as I steered my players through a multi-step heist mission. Having spent a year wishing our previous campaign had more complex battlefield dynamics, I was delighted to find that the party immediately latched onto my gestures in that direction. Rather than simply throwing players into rooms full of enemies, I let them plan their own route towards and through encounters, giving the team a far greater sense of ownership over their choices and results.

Our session also served as a nerve wracking reminder of just how tricky it is to ensure unpredictable players somehow receive a coherent and reasonably paced narrative experience. The party sailed right past the point where they were supposed to meet a key contact, forcing me to slot that character into a later encounter with as much grace as I could muster. And during the party’s first sneaking mission, properly seeding the quest’s final villain required our rogue to succeed on several stealth checks and then fail the final one – a non-inevitability that I quietly engineered through bisecting stealth checks into smaller and smaller sub-motions. Coherent, exciting narratives require a degree of coincidence and timing that is almost impossible to arrive at by chance, making me ever more impressed with how well Vox Machina manages it.

Because yes, it is indeed time for more Vox Machina. With my mind so overstuffed by D&D trivia, this seems like the perfect time to continue the assault on Whitestone, and perhaps learn a thing or two about managing my own party. The ultimate truth of D&D, something I’m begrudgingly coming to accept, is that any adventure will be what your players make of it – I can’t steer them entirely, I can only set the stage. As a refugee from the land of traditional fiction, this is all extremely stressful to me, but I can at least recognize and admire the clear synergy between Mercer and his players. Let’s see what trouble they get up to this time!

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Star Driver – Episode 8

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Hello folks, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m impatient to dive back into Star Driver, where Sugata just managed the allegedly impossible feat of waking up after using the King’s Pillar. Though his friends did everything they could to help him, it was ultimately the strange mechanics of Zero Time that seemed to wake him, further implying some key connection between Sugata and the secrets of this island. Unfortunately, before Sugata’s true friends could reach him, Benio intervened with one of her mind control makeout sessions, putting his current loyalties in question.

Of course, Sugata’s true intentions have always been a touch ambiguous. Though he’s been framed as part of a trio with Wako and Takuto, he’s always seemed a bit distant from the other two, and more preoccupied with his duty to the island. Seeing the Order of Cross lieutenants immediately swear deference to him was thus not terribly surprising; he’s always possessed the aura of a melancholy mastermind, and his connection with the strongest Cybody likely makes him essential to their long-term plans. As such, I feel like we might now be getting introduced to the “true Sugata” for the first time, which will be accompanied by an enlightening realignment of the show’s field of conflict. We’ve clearly got a consequential episode ahead of us, so let’s not waste another moment, and jump right back into Star Driver!

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Summer 2022 – Week 13 in Review

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today we are sadly reaching that point in the anime season where we can no longer even pretend it’s still summer, as the season’s shows air their final episodes and we wait for the onset of the fall deluge. Fortunately, as someone who has already escaped from the seasonal viewing grind, I have ascended to a point where time has no meaning beyond the steady shift of the sun’s gaze and the encroaching winds of winter. As long as it’s still warm out it’s still summer to me, and I’m going to enjoy it for as long as this blighted New England landscape lets me. As for the week in media, my usual film selections were once again complimented by a touch of animated razzle-dazzle, as we continued our Naruto investigations by sampling its first feature film. Let’s see what treasures await as we run down the latest Week in Review!

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Land of the Lustrous – Episode 6

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The sun rises on a new day and a new Phos, now equipped with striped pearlescent legs. Having surrendered themselves to the ocean in hopes of helping their new friend, Phos was rewarded with first betrayal and then redemption, only to emerge in a new form – not necessarily better, but certainly different from before.

That episode saw Phos attempting to sacrifice themself multiple times over, certain their life could only possess value if given up for the sake of another. First by going into the sea for Cinnabar and Ventricosus, and then through their willingness to become a sacrifice to save Ventricosus’ brother, Phos demonstrated basically no concern for their own safety or future. And why would they, anyway? Every aspect and inhabitant of this world seems to tell them they don’t belong, that they have no value. The gems themselves seem like strange interlopers in this world, existing outside of its natural ecosystems, and even among gem society, Phos is an outsider without purpose. To the gems, purpose and identity are as one – if you don’t possess a clear role within their society, you might as well not exist at all.

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Zoku Owarimonogatari – Episode 5

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Alright alright folks, settle down, let’s get to the business at hand. So far, Zoku Owarimonogatari has done a predictably solid job of justifying its own existence, applying Isin’s perpetually skeptical gaze to the very idea of Monogatari having an “ending” in the first place. Our lives don’t resolve into neat little Happily Ever Afters once we’ve tackled our immediate emotional problems; each ending is actually a new beginning, and writing the first page of a new story is often the hardest part. Through challenging the insubstantial relationship between narrative drama and human existence, and making the paralyzing diversity of potential futures literal through the mirror world device, Isin has successfully written a coda that feels both inessential and natural. There’s no new villain to face, just the stark reality of deciding your life’s path.

All that intermingling of personal psychology, life philosophy, and supernatural metaphor is what we’ve come to expect from Monogatari. But beyond that, incidental thought experiment arcs like this also serve a different purpose: introducing us to all the cool characters and potential characters that have touched this world, including imposing yet heretofore unseen figures like Kanbaru’s mother. Mombaru’s unseen presence cast an imposing shadow over Hanamonogatari, and I’m eager to finally get acquainted. Let’s get to it!

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Anne of Green Gables – Episode 11

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I am eager to make the trip back to Green Gables, and see how things are getting along for Anne and her new friend Diana. Their first outing in the woods has already proven to be a rousing success, as Anne’s imagination and Diana’s knowledge of their home fused into a fantastical journey through their local groves and glens. Takahata and Anne’s sensibilities could not be more complimentary; with the two of them as our guides, this adventure took on a magical tenor as inviting as any Ghibli film, demonstrating how intimate human drama and magical realism are such a natural pairing. Our own lives are not experienced in such a way as could be captured by an impartial camera’s eye; they are suffused with the emotional buoyancy of discovery, hope, and despair, making these fantastical embellishments more true to the human experience than clinical observation could ever be.

As for this coming episode, the staff list seems about par for an episode of Anne, meaning it ranges from all-time medium luminaries to simply excellent long-time artists. Along with the usual pre-Ghibli crowd, we’ve got Seiji Okuda handling storyboard duties, a man whose credits range from Sherlock Hound and Heidi all the way through recent productions like Hitori Bocchi and Pastel Memories. I’m sure there’ll be plenty to poke at in all sorts of directions, so let’s not waste a moment further, and set our carriage towards Green Gables!

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Summer 2022 – Week 12 in Review

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I have got some real seedy, stinky trash for you all, as I rummage through the refuge of grindhouse cinema American and global alike, and also review a film that validates every meme that’s been made about it. Fortunately, all of the non-memefied films we watched were actually quite enjoyable, while my continuing rush through missed anime films introduced me to an instant classic I’m sure to watch again. We’ll get to that eventually, but for now let’s surrender to the joys of exploitation theater, as we charge through one more Week in Review!

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Symphogear XV – Episode 13

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Hey folks, and welcome the fuck back to Wrong Every Time. You ready to finish some Symphogear? This has been a journey seven years in the making, with Symphogear’s very identity shifting substantially over the course of its season. From a debut season heavy on body horror and cliffhangers, Symphogear has steadily gained narrative confidence and a clear sense of joy, honing its found family instincts and building up a whole squad’s worth of lovable murder idols. And in spite of embracing every possible manner of insane dramatic indulgence, the franchise’s narrative bones have remained strong, evincing not just the explosive highs, but also the firm dramatic skeleton that defines great action media.

If anything, I’m almost sad the show wasn’t more indulgent in its treatment of endearing villains like Noble Red or the Autoscorers. Symphogear introduced so many charming characters that it simply didn’t have room for all of them, but XV has done its best to celebrate all the adorably nefarious foes that have come before. And with the team themselves now “falling, burning, and disappearing, then,” it appears we’ve come full circle, ready for a final confrontation with one more would-be god. Let’s take it to ‘em, Wielders. Let the song in your heart take flight, and hold a determination to fist. Let’s SYMPHOGEAR!!!!

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Bodacious Space Pirates – Episode 21

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time! I hope you’ve got your tickets ready, as today we’re bearing witness to the commencement of the 19th Nebula Cup. That’s right, it’s time for Bodacious Space Pirates, wherein Puppyhat and her yacht club compatriots will be competing for fame, glory, and presumably some kind of cash prize? I hate to be tacky about this, but I mean, we’re actually going to win something here, right?

Of course, regardless of how the actual race goes, Marika and the Bentenmaru will be receiving handsome compensation as the race’s security. And given the generally complementary relationship between narrative and, uh, conflict, the fact that Marika’s handling security basically guarantees this race is going to be a security nightmare. We’ve already been thoroughly spoiled by Kane’s return as club advisor (sorry, “coach”), and I’m expecting this arc’s comingling of Bentenmaru and yacht club drama to continue reaping hilarious dividends. Let’s see what the future holds!

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Scum’s Wish – Episode 6

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Hello everyone, and welcome back to Wrong Every Time. Today I’m eager to slink back to the tangled drama of Scum’s Wish, wherein Akane most recently consummated her relationship with Kanai. Of course, that wasn’t the satisfying bit for Akane – she actually finds Kanai profoundly dull, a stuttering mess whose perception of romance doesn’t seem to have changed since he was ten years old. But while Kanai may be a boring person and unfulfilling lover, he is nonetheless Hana’s unerring object of affection, and that makes him worth claiming. Akane isn’t really in a relationship with Kanai at all – she’s in a hate-lationship with Hana, and revealing she had sex with Hana’s crush is about as savory of a payoff as she could hope for.

But hey, at least Akane knows what she wants. As for our original leads, it’s becoming increasingly obvious that their variable baggage precludes any sort of healthy romantic partnership. Hana’s childhood abandonment by her father has left her with an inability to exist comfortably alone, meaning she perpetually seeks validation through physical relationships. In contrast, Mugi’s exploitative middle school relationship means he’s never really comfortable with others, his past girlfriend Mei having taught him to see intimacy as uncomfortable and transactional. It’s just a total mess on all fronts, and while the best solution remains “y’all need therapy,” I imagine Scum’s Wish has something very different in mind. Let’s get to it!

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